Niki Chow the Child Woman.

Now why would you name your record that?I mean, if I were like, a famous Canto pop singer (which im assuming she is, since her posters are pretty much plastered all over the streets of Hong Kong!)i'm sure there are at least a dozen other names more appealing than "The Child Woman". And it wouldnt even be so bad if there was more elaboration on the posters but there isn't..its just Niki Chow, the Child Woman...i mean, i guess she COULD be a child woman,or a woman child but there's really no need to go telling everyone about it is there?but it must be pretty good advertising since im still thinking about it now so kudos to you, Ms. Niki Chow Child Woman!

Other than interesting advertising that i didnt get, Hong Kong also had so many splendid little quirks that i thought to be incredibly charming and quaint.Not my favourite place to visit, but did bring home some memories:

THE 9 MOST MEMORABLE THINGS ABOUT HONG KONG.


the night skyline..skylines are always one of my favourite things about any city and i reckon Hong Kong didnt dissapoint...the picture's abit shaky though cos it was taken while on the ferry



Hong Kong's convention centre..is it just me or do all Convention Centres sorta look kinda similar?Spent 3 and a half days straight in this building so its definitely one of my favourites now..



Day 2 of convention: one of the directors took us out to taste a typical "hongky" meal..let's just say it was like eating mushy meatballs with rice..



you cant see anything in this picture becasue it was taken swiftly (i didnt wanna get caught) as we were taken upstairs to an imitation bag "showroom". The picture has not been messed with, that is actually how dark the stairs were. At that point in time, i seriously thought we were being kidnapped.it was awesome.



old skool coke..



wahliao..this story could make you cry..its really long so just ask me the next time i see you..



ok, what d'ya reckon this is?dont peek at the next picture lah..aiyoh..



ok give up?its like this cool silicone gripper thingy that you use to take hot pans or plates outta the microwave or oven and it totally doesnt get hot!its briiliant..totally foresee the market to be flooded with these babies in the next month or two..



eggballs!(they look suspiciously like a certain kaya desert that we have here,dontcha think?):P

hokay..tired liao..nites..

The KrisCus Weekend..

'MehhRee Age- An age where people get tempted to get married.'

Wahliao..i dont think i can explain in words how it feels to have a best guy friend get married..its quite surreal really, like, it hasnt really sunk in but you kinda know that nothing's ever gonna be quite the same from now on..

Putting that aside though..it was a smashing weekend..from the Marcus church wedding to Kristine's birthday dinner followed by dancing/drinking the night away to the beautiful hotel reception the following night. A picture's worth a thosand words and all that jazz so just scroll down lah ya?


THE CHURCH...(to me it was blasphemy having to get up at 8am on a Saturday morning...without coffee somemore!)


Subang most probably ran out of Kleenex when it came to them saying their vows to each other..


The beauty of this wedding was that it was so simple and yet so meaningful..even though the choir didnt have, like matching robes, their voices said so much more..


Bumping into LeeLian was lovely..hadnt met up with her properly in gawd knows how long..Pui Yan flew back all the way from UK,bless her soul!


Finally!A proper group shot of us after so very very long..we're missing 2 tho'..


THE NIGHT WITH LITTLE SLEEP...i.e. krissy's smashing shindig!


Putting a slight twist on the ol' cake..ala mode style!


The passion they show for technology brings tears to my eyes..


birthday chic n married man..


in my brain i reckon we look ALMOST cool..hahahahha..


the last sober shot of the night..

OKAY, INTERMISSION..(IMAGINE ELEVATOR MUSIC IS PLAYING..)

we're experiencing a little techinical difficulty with the rest of the wedding pictures so in the meantime..please enjoy (drumroll please)a little something i'd like to call....THE MANY FACES OF PUI YAN!!!!!!




RIGHT..NOW BACK TO DAY 2 OF WEDDING..SHERATON SUBANG...


group and bridal couple..


yes,its a funny face photo but let me tell ya somethin'...i reckon it was partly our prawn dish also lah..see, during the prawn course..the waiter had a plate of king prawns in one hand and a bowl of what seemed to be a bowl of transparent sauce..he confidently pours the sauce over the prawns and starts serving us until we realise the bowl of sauce? its the bowl of lemon water meant for rinsing your fingers!totally the highlight of the night!


ahhhhh...blueetooth...what was life before you??


picture a party of 6 glamorously dressed to go to the mamak..first time in my life i was offered a menu and was called ma'am!that waiter had incredibly comedic timing, i tell you..

Perspective.

Ever get days where you get so damn stressed and you wanna scream your lungs out?And then you go outside and see this:





can't be that bad if there are still things as beautiful as this..have a good week..

Fuck Face.

Some people wear 'em all the time, some don't even know they have one on, some are just born with one..

Let me elaborate. Y'see, meeting new people can be a scary thing. Growing up, i was always told that its easy for me since the gift of gab is pretty much one of the only gifts i've got..But there are people who have had to overcome this serious problem of shyness or the feeling of intimidation when they meet new people..that's still fine, especially in Asian culture where society is generally not as vocal as our Western counterparts. But in that process, i think us Asians, more specifically, KL-lians have developed this thing called the fuck face. The fuck face is a tricky thing because you never really know if the person you're meeting is just born with one but could turn out to be the loveliest person in the world OR just be putting on the fuck face for your benefit when you meet.

You know how it is..you go to a club, you're meeting people and there's allllways that one person who gives you the fuck face. When you're introduced, she/he gives a limp fake smile and then just doesn't smile or look like they're having fun the rest of the night..wait, now that i think of it the fuck face isn't just limited to the face. Sometimes, it travels and ends up affecting the person's personality as well. Like my experience last night, was out with my girls having a brilliant boogie night down at a certain club when Cranky* shows up. (Keep in mind that i've been introduced, had a conversation and even partied with Cranky before) So i'm all excited to see a friend and she, meanwhile does the fuck face turns to me and says "have we met before?" (*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of said person..hey, even bitches have a right to live)

its just annoying lah you know?and yes of course there's the possibility that she did forget me because she was drunk on the numerous occasions that we've met before or hell, maybe i'm just not that memorable but i'm 100% sure that's like a 0.0000001% chance.

ok, i admit that i HAVE fallen prey to the fuck face a couple of times in my life. But sometimes the fuck face is a necessary and recommended shield against people like Cranky. Weird huh?i reckon maybe it just has to be controlled usage or doled out in small dosages or something..hmmmm...

FoOD POISoNInG

Ugh..the throwing up.. the glucose water..the coffee without milk..the dizziness…Some of you call it Sunday morning recovery but I’ve got food poisoning..knew those damn prawn wantons were kinda suspect..oh well, this’ll make it easier for me to find a dress for marcus’ wedding I suppose..(marcus=good friend getting married)

got a call from two good friends, "mates" actually (aussie friends are always mates) and they were speaking to me on a banged up line telling me how they drove from the coast to the whitsundays in 24 hours...(it was supposed to be a 9 hour trip)..somehow one old junk car broke down so they had to get another old- junk and drive the remainder of the way..so they had just arrived and were so high in the sky (we're seriously talking lucy in the sky of diamonds and bob marley here!)that i didnt get the full story..but i got to thinking how much i miss doing crazy nonsensical things like that for no apparent reason, y'know?im all f$%%^ mature now (at least most of the time)and its different..its safe..don't know if thats a good thing..

everyone's an expert lah when it comes to analysing my blog..i've gotten comments that ranged from "you think too much" or "girl, since when you so deep?" to "why don't you ever say anything about me in your blog?" And i love it. I'm glad someone's got an opinion on this piece of pixelated parchment that i put some of my thoughts into. Because i do think alot. I just don't over-think. And more importantly, i hope i'm making you think. I hope you relate. And it really doesn't matter what kinda opinion you have when you read the entries, just as long as you have one.

GO EAT AT DRAGON-i!!!!!3rd floor One Utama...very very very good food...especiaLLY the siu long paos (steamed dumplings that squirt juice into your mouth...you actually have to get a number to get a seat so i suggest you make reservations before you go..even their deep fried eel and fried beans and chicken with curry leaves..EXCEPTIONAL!!however, my appetite did wane slightly when i saw their lighting..maybe the interior decorator was a gay male who hadn't seen one before so when he did up the place he didnt realise till it was too late..


i don't know..you tell me..isn't it kinda....obscene?

Household Questions

i'm a spaz and i need help.really.

1. How long do eggs last in your fridge?i bought these organic ones and last night i tried smelling em and they smell funny. it might just have a stronger smell than ordinary eggs or they mght actually be bad..they've been in there about 3 weeks.help.please.

2. how the hell do i connect my sony speakers to a non-sony dvd player?

3. whats a comfortable couch?i've been on heaps but i cant decide on one to purchase. the variety is endless!fuck.

4. how can i clean/wipe/laser dirt off my mac?i've tried everything!help.

do not laugh at my questions man..cos i'm sure somewhere in the back of your mind, u got your OWN list of un-answerable questions..

Strength.

I went rock climbing on saturday. I've been wanting to do it for the longest time and so although i knew absolutely nothing about hard masses or climbing (except maybe when it comes to the opposite sex...)i decided to give it a go!So fastforward 2 hours later, firmly secured in our harnesses and equipped with the knowledge of how to tie a sexy 8-knot (i dunno, the trainer was very insistent that our knots were sexy, if they weren't pleasing to the eye, he made us do it again..i reckon he spends too much time alone..)my friends and i conquered NOT ONLY the beginner's wall but ALSO the 5A wall..(the crowd says "ooooohhhhh" "wahhhhhhh")....annnnyways..suffice to say that i am now a huuuugeee fan of climbing..its really empowering (regardless of whether you're a man or a woman), it gets your stamina up, its incredibly fun and you really have to push your limits and your strength.


courtesy of JuAn Images Inc.


courtesy of JuAn Images Inc.

So yesterday, as my aching shoulders, chest, back, abs and arms re-cuperated..i got to thinking about strength. To be more specific, inner strength. I dont intend to make this a huge feminist spiel but i just wanna make my peace with that, men may have more physical strength but i think women have more inner strength. I remember a tv scene that just stuck in my head for some reason and it had a woman and a man in the scene. The man was trying to understand what it was like to be a woman. The woman said to him " Take all your clothes off, write 'FUCK ME' in huge words on your chest, open the door, walk down that crowded street, if someone fucks you, you take it with a smile and ask if they would like to do it again and if they don't, you say 'thank you so much for your time'.That's what its like to be a woman in the world today."

Darling men, please dont get all huffy and run to your mommy. I love your kind way too much to hurt you or want to ridicule you ever. But please keep this mind when you go out with any of my kind tonight:

1. Respect. Always vital.

2. You go down on her. Yeah, you heard it right. If all you're doing is the missionary and you think those moans are for real, wake up. They're not. (And by the way, don't EVER EVER tell her she has to have hair removal treatment. Make up a story. Like "Baby, you know i heard on the news the other day that if you dont shave down there, there's a 65% higher chance of fungal infection."

3. Don't be a woman. There's a fine line between giving in and being a pussy.

4. We know when you're whiny, when you're cowardly and when you're cheap. Do not mistake politeness for stupidity.

5. The more you control your woman, the more she will think of cheating of you. Yes, even the nice,quiet ones. You wanna know why there are less reported cases of women cheating on their husbands?we lie better.(Inner strength remember?)

I dont mean to insult, ridicule or belittle anyone. To me, this is truth. Even though most people won't say it.

Happy Relationshiping Everyone!

FREE MONEY!!!!!

I received an sms from a close friend of mine a few days ago asking me to sign a SPCA petition. I was shocked and then appalled that the signatories on the petititon have not reached SPCA's target of 100,000 people. They need the petititon to be signed because owners that treat their animals terribly are not being punished adequately. RM 100 will not bring back that animal's life. The reason i started this blog roughly 6 months ago was BECAUSE of this plight. Now i'm just angry. Pissed off because when there's a fucking sale in MNG or IKEA..half the fucking country is there in two shakes of a tail but when it involves something less glamorous or seemingly inconsequential to our lives, we choose to forget, we choose to be lazy, we choose to close ourselves off to it.

So this is my new plan. THE FIRST 20 PEOPLE EACH MONTH TO SIGN THAT PETITION AND TELL 5 MORE PEOPLE ABOUT THE PETITION WILL GET RM 10 FROM ME. SIMPLE RIGHT?DO IT. GO TO www.spca.org.my AND SIGN NOW. PRINT OUT THE FORM AND EMAIL IT TO ME BY THE 30TH OF MARCH WITH YOUR NAME AND PHONE NUMBER AND I WILL GIVE YOU THE MONEY IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE FIRST 20 PEOPLE. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. SIGN, PRINT AND YOU GET FREE MONEY. MEANWHILE, READ STORY BELOW.
Born seven years ago, Sheena was a beautiful German Shepherd who died in August this year. The hope and happiness of a puppy were dashed when Sheena ended up in the hands of a cruel owner.

The photos below are of Sheena in the last days of her life. These photos splashed across the national newspapers with her ribs sticking out and stomache bloated sitting by her rusty bowl of contaminated water broke hearts all across the country. Her owner, an engineer from Subang Jaya had kept her tied up and starving.





Based on the post-mortem report, Sheena was infected with ticks. She also suffered brittle bones due to malnutrition from young and the malfunction of all her major organs causing water retention which resulted in a bloated abdomen, empty bladder and stomach.

According to newspaper reports, a neighbour had trice telephoned the Selangor Veterinary Department, but nobody went to save the dog. Finally, she called the SPCA and they rushed to the scene to find her still tied and sleeping in her own faeces.

The rescue came too late. Sheena had to be put down on August 18, 2005. The post-mortem revealed that she had suffered neglect for years.

Ironically, it is likely that Sheena, the very same dog starved by her owner, would still lick his hand today if she were alive.

Reports that came in just days after Sheena’s story broke

Soon after Sheena’s ordeal was highlighted in the Press, the Star carried on its front page, the story of a Malayan Tiger that was butchered into four pieces. The perpetrator was apprehended and brought before the court, but set free after he paid a RM7,000 fine. The parts could easily fetch much more on the market than the fine he had paid.

And only days later, another story appeared in the Star of a breeder who kept his cats in such deplorable conditions that even the published photographs of one cat did not look like a cat at all.


Why we should remember her?

Sheena stands for all the abused and neglected pets in Malaysia. The 21st century has seen an increase in reported abuse of domestic animals. Many of these pets are returned to their owners after the case is investigated, and prosecution takes place. The Animal Ordinance 1953 has a maximum of RM200 fine and/or 6 months imprisonment as penalty for abusing an animal. In Sheena’s case, her owner admitted guilt, and was fined RM100, not even a quarter of the price of a German Shepherd puppy, and definitely not even close to the price of her precious life. Sheena must be remembered, so that other animals won’t suffer.

For every animal SPCA rescues, there are many more out there who are still waiting to see the light of day. The only way forward now is to educate people on how to treat animals.

Please do not think that this cruelty will end with the animals. When we allow an environment which is conducive for abusive pet owners to breed, we can rest assured there will be other social problems that will arise along with animal cruelty.

So please help us give a voice to the voiceless.

The Aussies, The Brits and The people who let George W. lead 'em

One of my best friends sent me this today..i laughed. its funny. read below.


Aussie humour is just as famous as its barbies and Crocodile Dundee,
so it makes plenty of sense that Tourism Australia's newest campaign
plays on the idea of the plain-speaking Aussie with the catchy phrase:
"So where the bloody hell are you?" - complete with a girl in a
bikini, beers in a pub, Aboriginal dancers, camels and crystal blue
waters.
 
If you are among the thousands expected to make their way Down Under
this year, be it for the upcoming Melbourne 2006 Commonwealth Games or
simply for a dose of Aussie hospitality, you'll want to take note of
the questions below from potential visitors which were posted on an
Australian tourism website. The answers are the actual responses by
the website officials, who obviously have a quirky sense of humour.


UK: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow?.
 
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
 
 
 
USA: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?
 
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
 
 
 
Sweden: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks?
 
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.
 
 
 
USA: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
 
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
 
 
 
USA: Which direction is north in Australia?
 
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
 
 
 
UK: Can I bring cutlery into Australia?
 
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
 
 
 
USA: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
 
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
 
 
 
UK: Can I wear high heels in Australia?
 
A: You are a British politician, right?
 
 
 
Germany: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all
year round?
 
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk
is illegal.
 
 
 
USA: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum.
 
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
 
 
 
USA: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of a bear and lives in trees.
 
A: It's called a Gum Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop
out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before
you go out walking.
 
 
 
France: Do you have perfume in Australia?
 
A: No, WE don't stink.
 
 
USA: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you tell me where I can sell it in Australia?
 
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
 
 
 
France: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?
 
A: Only at Christmas.
 
 
 
USA: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
 
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Are you Chinese??

you can only read what it says if you're chinese..if you're of another ethnicity, you gotta pull the sides of your eyes to make them look like slits then you'll be able to read what it says.....


today, the last of my seapark fish died..do NOT ever go to the SEAPARK FISH SHOP..i swear they poison the poor fish or something..of course at first my close friends and family suspected that it was my fault, hell, even i blamed me!but thheeenn it was really weird how my oldder fish are ok...in fact some of 'em just gave birth..AGAIN..(female fish are so slutty, i tell you..)


fish babies kinda look like sperm with eyes..


babies with mommy..

yeah, you're wondering why im talking about fish?cos i reckon every yuppie should own a guppie.(ok, i know guppy's spelt with a 'y' but this way, it rhymes..:P)

fish are really really relaxing...and trust me, after owning hamsters, guines pigs, bunnies,dwarf bunnies, a chameleon, a cat, dogs, baby chicks and ducks, turtles and god knows what else...fish are the easiest to keep, they're tame and soooooo calming..and so, in my quest to reach zen-ness, i reckon fish is the first step...ohmmmm...go on..be a guppy-yuppie!(geezus, i must be stressed)

on a completely different note..i CANNOT for the life of me believe there's gonna be ANOTHER singing reality tv programme!what is up with THAT?ok, fine..i agree there is a very very small percentage of Malaysians out there who can actually whoop Mariah's ass but do we really need one more screamy, ear-piercing show on prime time to display our lack of talent??come on!!at least a malaysian version of the apprentice would be more enjoyable..or what about drama?even a big brother house with all the censorship would be more enjoyable..and between you and me, isn't seeing people make fools of themselves the whole point of reality tv anyway?

in the news today: a survey was taken on 1000 malaysian men on whether they were considerate about their partners needs in bed. they reckon the results were positive because 39% said they take into consideration their partners wants. i laughed so hard i nearly peed in my pants. first of all, if they wanted to find out if women's needs were being met in bed, shouldnt they be asking the women?second of all, how can 39% be a good thing?that means 61% of women are getting bad sex!our newspapers crack me up..

You know you're not 17 anymore when..

1. You're out with your friends and instead of dinner being the pre-party to the clubbing that'll happen after...it IS the party!

2. You get the lights shut off on your group at Delicious (Ms. Read) and Starbucks instead of at Zouk or Poppy.

3. Conversation turns to business, the government, travel, China's economic growth instead of who wore what at this year's Oscars.

3. When you DO finally decide that you're going clubbing, you do the responsible thing by car-pooling. Your friends and yourself also decide that you're staying till 2am-latest, because next day have to get ready for work.

4. When you're at the club, you suddenly realise its very loud. You all then proceed to lose each other because of uncertainty and blurness.

5. Your group, on hearing Song 2 by Blur, immediately start jumping up and down like maniacs and reminiscing..when everyone else on the dancefloor dont seem to know the song.

6. The hellos and goodbyes are longer than the actual time you spend together.

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!WELCOME HOME KRISSY!!!


this marvellous man kept up his balancing act for a whole 10 minutes while my stupid phone un-hung itself..thanks waiter man!!


we found marcus!!


her top was amazing..y'know sarah jessica parker's naked dress in sex and the city right?


kris and ah seng..it's been a long while since seeing a guy try to down a whole bottle of alcohol!


it was like a srikl reunion!


pam & mua


i was sooooo drunk...on coke.


i dont have a picture of juan from the other night so this'll have to do for now..:P

Has anyone ever gotten tracted?

Cos.. y'know... people get DIS-tracted....

So. Two-Four. 2 dozen. A score and four as the great Abraham Lincoln would say. A new number for the next 365 days of my life..how will i make it count?(pun fully intended)

on the actual day of reckoning, i sat on my couch and watched crap tv. Naked. No, i'm not some kinda hippie, i just figured its my bloody birthday and i came out this way so why not at least try to regain some of that peace/freedom/innocence? And you know what?it was awesome..just that if you do decide to try it..dont let cigarette ash come anywhere near you..trust me. Also, make sure you live alone and that the blinds are closed alright?

See, the thing is..i wanted for just one day to shut out, escape and forget about the damn f-word. FEAR. Which i see wayyy too much of in people's eyes..in my eyes sometimes..and i do not like it. Some of the more common justifiable fears usually involve going into something new and unknown like starting a new business, beginning on a new project, telling your parents certain things they might not want to hear, facing death, starting a family, getting divorced, admitting you were wrong..the last one is really tough..

Then come the un-justifiable fears..the ones you cannot explain and even if you did, would sound bloody ridiculous...ghosts under your bed, your time-clock is running out so you MUST get married and have babies galore, you've been with her/him for so many years now, you've lost the passion but hey better stick with her/him lah rather than be ALONE...

If you have fear of the latter constantly bugging you then i suggest you jump now. Reckon it'll be easier than having to go thru your life having no balls and worse..being unhappy..life is not as long as you think its gonna be y'know..in fact,i've met some people who are already dead..their creativity and imagination has been shot to hell by their organisations telling them exactly what to do and how to do it, their once great passion for something/someone they love is gone and all that's left is the delusion that they've done everything that society tells them is right so it MUST be right.

sometimes, maybe you just gotta get off that couch,put your clothes back on and face those damn ghosts under your bed.Chances are, once you do that, they won't be haunting you anymore...

Oh yeah, nearly forgot..

Yes, yes..it's a terrible marketing ploy to get people to spend exorbitant amounts of cash on wilted flowers and melted chocolates but what the hell eh?the hopeless romantic in me (whatever little is left) gives in..happy V-Day people!!

LOOOONGGGG OVERDUE PICTURES ARE UP!!

dearest madammes e messieurs,

was going thru my camera last night and i realise there are alot of overdue pictures i owe people so without further ado, here they are..

LYNN'S SUMMER BREAK





ABBY'S B'DAY



CNY-KUACH'S HSE

we were such cam whores that day lah i tell you..




hamming it up for the camera!


his face turned to this when we mentioned his "tak nak" ad!i swear, cant go anywhere without seeing his billboards(look below)



JUAN'S FREE MANI/PEDI

that's juan....


....and those are her nails!


ANDY'S HOMECOMING