i never thought kicking balls around could be that hard....after all, isnt that what women do all the time?*grin*

HAH!YOU DISBELIEVER!! YE OF LITTLE FAITH!!! IN YO' FACE SUCKARRRRRRRRR!

sorry, i was merely speaking to that infidel otherwise known as my brother...i told him i was going to play futsal and he laughed..out loud!well!!! i showed you didnt i?oh suuuuree my legs are aching and i'll probably never have babies but hah!i sure showed you!whose got the last laugh now eh????

got pictures to prove somemore..*smug face on*



got sweat?


ok, so i didnt actually get any proper photos on the court itself....but this totally counts!!


constipation is a killer..

Eyes Wide Shut. (18SX-SEXUAL ELEMENTS PRESENT)

the funniest thing happened to me this morning at about 3am..ok, but first you need to know that ive been sleep deprived ok?i mean, the goal last night was basically to sleep..thats it..that was my plan..really one..

so anyway, my phone rang, the number was private. i thought maybe it was one of my friends needing to have a chat so i picked up. the lady on the other end had an english accent and she told me she was from elite modelling and had i ever heard of the organisation before..now anyone who knows me knowss i hate being awoken from sleep, especially when i havent slept in days...so i'm all like "yeah, ive heard of you" and she goes "oh great thats fantastic cos we're recruiting models". (see,this is how young girls get conned) so im like "why are you recruiting models on the phone?isnt it like kinda vital that you, y'know, take a look at them first? (i mean, like hello!)"

she goes on to tell me that many women have the presumption that models have to be tall and beautiful but they actually dont...then she asked for my vital statistics, if i've got any tattoos or piercings or birthmarks..and then it got interesting...she asked me the following:

1. how many sexual partners have you had?
2. what is your favourite sexual position?
3. how big was the biggest guy you've ever been with?
4. what was the best sex you've ever had?
5. what race were your sexual partners?
6. what are your most sensitive parts?
7. would you do a threesome?

there were more but i've forgotten them on account of me being sleepy..so she goes on to tell me they organise these private parties and rich men come and pay and you're not obliged to do anything, its a controlled environment and the security is tight....riiiiiggghhhtttt...so anyways, after kepoh-ing and finding out everything, i just told her i wasnt interested. she said she would call again to check if i had changed my mind...she was a nice girl, it was a nice chat...but HOW FUCKIN DODGY IS THEIR ENTIRE SETUP??geeezzz..what if young girls pick up, man?how the fuck did they get my number?and why the fuck am i so sleepy??

whole lotta crazy shit happening in the world today..

Z is for Ztupid Zidiotic Zumbass!!

1-1. 5-3. Additional time.Headbutt into chest. World Cup 2006. Italy wins,France loses.Stef loses many lunches and much money.

Right, now that that's over and done with...

life is just brim full of experiences isnt it?i can never for the life of me get how some people can say "i'm bored". its a concept that frankly, bores me...or maybe im being too harsh..maybe i just happen to be an incredibly lucky/unlucky person that weird things happen to...hmmm..

IN MY BRAIN..
blunts at 3 o'clock in the morning..must've been good stuff cos i could suddenly understand mandarin...hahahahahhahhaha..

i love men because they can change tyres.women need men to change tyres.definitely.

how do i know which dvdR to buy?dvd-r or dvd+r?why did they have to make it so difficult?got burner,then can burn lah!sigh....

cafe 69 is an awesome place..it's very subdued,very 70's..and they've got like a palm reader dude and a tarot dude who tells you your fortune and stuff..and they have the BEST char koay teow...THE BEST!!

the ritual..

catching each other's eye across the room....


small talk and sideways glances...


if all goes well..

revisited a common pastime that is inherent in all Chinese - karaoke-ing. i must say that it is a completely different world in there..never noticed it before, but there are alohhottt of broken hearted people in there cryin and singin and drinkin..suppose it's a good way to let everything out..i got my inspiration from the peanuts..one bowl cost RM15..i was ready to cry also man bloody hell..the wifi connection was good though..(yeah, i know..what the hell was i doing in there with my laptop?:p)


this is zoe..the girl hates makeup..so sunday i decided to give her the smokey look..hot right?!!after that cannot stop posing for the camera..:D


hahahahahahhaha..i think pictures like these truly show the comfort level between the people in the photo lah..



how does one little ant manage to cause this?

well, thats it for this week's show and tell..bro's back in town..gonna chill with him for a while..

The Class System.

When one thinks of class, one's mind immediately travels to days of Old England where a person's social standing was generally determined by being in one of 3 main classes; upper, middle or working/lower. The Class System is of course, still practised today albeit with not as much restriction (no "Off With Their Heads!" should a rich person want to be with a poor person) but definitely just as much ignorance, i think..

wanna hear a story? last weekend, i went to a wedding. it was in a beautiful ballroom, in a beautiful 5-star hotel, with beautifully rich guests. the age median was about 55 (even though the bride and groom were 28 and 30, respectively). for some reason, the dinner was not the usual 8 course chinese dinner. it was a buffet with different counters for different food set all round the ballroom. In theory, this would actually have been a fantastic way for guests to mingle while they went to get their food. Unfortunately, in real-time, it was chaos.

So oklah, there are like 10 counters right? 1 counter got roti jala, naans, curries, another counter had dim sums, another one had roast beef and yorkshire pudding, another one had sushi and sashimi, there was a tempura counter and a local fare one as well (char koay teow & fried rice)..very posh right? wrong!!yours truly had to wait 20 minutes for a measly serving of char koay teow followed by queueing another 15 minutes to get 2 tiny siew mais (reminder:5-star wedding)...but i digress, that story's for another entry, its just i got hungry thinking of all that lovely food not being eaten by me....anyyyyways..what i was going to say was that it's always interesting to see how hungry people react to food...even the upper-class...there was queue-cutting, blatant grabbing of all the prawn tempura(leaving only eggplant and ladies fingers) by one lady and all-out hogging of the entire counter (when a person stands directly infront of a counter so they can "book" whatever food they want first)...classy, huh?

Lemme tell you another story..2 weeks ago, my car couldn't start. I was at one of the petrol stations in Centrepoint and it was late. I turned the ignition twice and the sorry sounds that came out of her are not ones i want to remember. There were about 3 shabbilly dressed mat motors still loitering around and i started to leetle-beet panic lah..then one of the fellas started walking over..lageee panik..he got closer..i didnt bloody care if the place was gonna explode or not, i took out that damn handphone and started to dial..he knocked, i dropped my phone..."Miss, you takde air batteri lah".. fast forward 20 minutes later, my car was as good as new..Zamri not only filled my very,very empty battery water thingy, but he also replaced whatever lubricant i had to replace lah..all with the help of his two friends..lovely boys..and i found out later that they didn't even work at that station!they were just helping me out!

So, in the old days, one could tell which class a person belonged to from their accent, their clothes, their interests, the way they raised their children and what kind of food they ate. if you think about it, things haven't changed a whole lot. the question is..does the class a person is in really determine how classy that person is?

Life is such an experiment...

..ya never quite know if its gonna blow up in your face or if something unexpectedly beautiful and new gets created...

so as i get ready for bed having enjoyed wonderful company plus tapas for dinner which is as usual 'muy delicioso' (gracias La Bodega!), i cant help but wonder about different worlds..do they collide or do they absorb each others' mass and become one?

or perhaps in the end it just boils down to chemistry instead of physics...like you might be from totally different planets but as long as both of you dont got anything stuck up Uranus (i know you're stifling a giggle) and are willing to like, give and take and understand and talk it out and call each other things like cupcake and poochie-poodles or applecheeks then its all good..

10 worst songs in the history of mankind

This blog entry doesnt end. Feel free to add to it.

1. My heart will go on - Celine Dion.
i break out in rash everytime i hear that infernal wailing.

2. Numerous songs - That "beep" "beep" frog
music videos, ringtones, screensavers..it's a frog!!!!an ugly frog!!AAnnnddd he's not even real!!

3. Lemon tree.

4. Anything by Air Supply. (i apologise to the people in Puchong or Kepong.i know how much you guys like your Air Supply)

5.

too pooped to ponder..

i definitely think that weekends and weekdays should be reversed..like 5 days of lee-lacksing and 2 days of work...man, that'd be awesome..but then again, being the complicated homo sapiens that we are almost certainly ensures that we'd be dissatisfied with that too, sooner or later...so i guess it's most probably for the best that things remain as they are..:P..velvet was awesome this weekend..stayed till the lights came on and man..suddenly alot of good-looking people became ugly..including a haphazard stef desperately trying to pretend as if her makeup wasnt melting..geezus..to be a woman sometimes..

speaking of human beings..i looked it up the other day..and i F.O.T.F.C.I.L.(fell off the fuckin chair in laughter). the definition of human being in the Oxford AMERICAN Dictionary: a man, woman or child from the species; distinguished from other animals by superior mental development, power of articulate speech, and upright stance.

Superior mental development - For an entire month, grown people will be watching 11 other grown men kick a ball around a field. (pardon moi, cheap shot, i know)
Power of Articulate Speech - whoever came up with this definition obviously has not met my friends on a saturday night.
Upright stance - this is pretty much the only one i agree with. wow, guess we ARE better than animals.we have upright stance.

i recall speaking about malaysians being shy in a previous blog entry....NOT WHEN YOU HAVE A DOG!!!!!hooishayman..taking opium around?instant celebrity-ness!from nowhere, i'm like minding my own business when suddenly.."ma!!" "ma!!!" (and the shreaks get louder and more piercing by the way)and when the mother finally replies "whattt???" the kids are like "doggy!!!can i play with the doggy??" (yours truly, by that time, will have inched herself slowly but surely towards the exit...oklah actually, it'd be more of a brisk walk-run), or like yesterday, when i was at my local bintangwang sipping on a hazelnut latte...i met 9 people,no joke! they just keep coming up...it's like im not even there! i mean this is like THE breakthrough answer for shy people (orrr men who wanna meet women!but for gawd's sakes don't lah go and buy a poodle/shitzu type k?not unless you see yourself being part of the Village People..)

ok, i cant keep it in any longer..i've just bought the kurt cobain journals!!excited doesn't even BEGIN to describe how i feel..

Human Trafficking.

- After the illegal trade of drugs and weapons, human trafficking is the most profitable criminal act in the world today -

go see the movie. i was tempted to say women ESPECIALLY, but i've changed my mind. I feel that EVERYBODY should go watch it because whether we want to blind ourselves to it or not, it does happen. Watch it,then read this entry.

Underaged girls and boys(yes,boys too!) being taken away from their families against their will to become sex slaves. Their ages range from 11 years old to 21years old.They do not get paid, they do not get to go out, most of them do not live more than 4 years because they are either worked to death or contract diseases; anything from hepatitis to H.I.V.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that i'm pro-sex. i think there's a reason that prostitution is the oldest profession and i also think that porn is neccessary. However, i'm also pro-choice. And it shits me to know that there are human beings doing this horrific, gruesome, appalling thing to other human beings and profiteering off it!And do you know why they continue to do this?Because there is D-E-M-A-N-D for it.(C'mon people, Economics class wasn't that long ago)


DIANA ELIZABETH DUBON
DOB: Oct 14, 1992 Sex: Female
Missing Date: May 22, 2006
Age Now: 13 Height: 5'0" (152 cm)
Weight: 100 lbs (45 kg)


EMILY JUAN
Case Type: Family Abduction
DOB: Oct 21, 2003 Sex: Female
Missing Date: Sep 5, 2004
Age Now: 2
Height: 2'3" (69 cm)
Weight: 19 lbs (9 kg)

THINK IT DOESN'T HAPPEN HERE?
'Malaysia is a destination, and to a lesser extent, a source and transit country for men and women trafficked for the purposes of sexual exploitation and forced labor. Foreign trafficking victims, mostly women and girls from the People’s Republic of China (P.R.C.), Indonesia, Thailand, the Philippines, and Vietnam are trafficked to Malaysia for commercial sexual exploitation. Some economic migrants from countries in the region who work as domestic servants and as laborers in the construction and agricultural sectors face exploitative conditions in Malaysia that meet the definition of involuntary servitude. Some Malaysian women, primarily of Chinese ethnicity, are trafficked abroad for sexual exploitation.
The Government of Malaysia does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking; however, it is making significant efforts to do so. Malaysia is placed on Tier 2 Watch List for its failure to provide evidence of increasing efforts to combat trafficking, particularly its failure to provide protection for victims of trafficking. ' - U.S. State Dept Trafficking in Persons Report, June, 2006.

So this is a plea to all the men out there: Please sirs, if you happen to travel to Thailand or the Philippines or even Malaysia..please make sure....ok, fuck this. it's stupid and if a guy's horny and sick then nothing i'm gonna say here's gonna make any difference, is it??

But i can say this.Educate your family.Your brothers, your sisters, your girlfriends, your children. Teach 'em to grow up smart and not end up like some Paris Hilton wannabe (even she's not that stupid!). Because Gen- Y'ers, this is our world. We are going to inherit it someday. And we should not be celebrating people who pretend to be stupid, or people who live for fame and glamour, or people who want to be stick thin or people who sell children for money!if you had to teach the future generation today what would you say?

better start preparing...:)

Easy Like Sunday Mornin'...

" What??Change the speed limit to 60?ohhh surrreee, a few lives will be saved but thousands will be late!" - Homer J. Simpson

This weekend was one of the best i've ever ever had..cos everything just fell into place y'know like..."trinnnnnnnngggg" (picture tinkerbell waving her wand or flapping her wings or whatever..)

it was perfect..mainly because instead of one huuuge event taking it all up..it consisted of many many intimate small moments..which to me are amazing cos big moments can be replicated anytime..(hell, as long as you've got 500 bucks and a place to party) but i love the small moments..like when you're sitting at a cafe with good friends and you're desperately trying to get into the entire football pandemonium/phenomenon even though it annoys you like hell...or roaming the ss2 area trying to tempt a good friend to get her damn pug...or having a quiet dinner with a galpal who you havent seen in awhile, or having an old friend call you up on his one day stopover in k.l to have drinks, or having a close bud tell you he's going to war (ok,actually that one's a little scary,please pray for him if you believe in God;alternatively, drink for him because i dont think they have alchohol where he's going!)or going grocery shopping with somebody and then cooking with that somebody, and of course, being online again with you guys..(maccie got fixed,shes better than ever!)...*blissful sigh*

didja know that policemen in Milan are dressed by Armani?how fucking cool is that?thats one way to stop em from taking bribes..i mean, if YOU were wearing Armani, would you stoop that low?Wait, we're in Malaysia.Scrap that last line.

i also want to celebrate Sir Roger Vivier, creator of the stiletto. Where would i be without you, O great exalted One*!!He's got a store under the same name and a single pair or shoes there can cost up to 16,000 Euros!i would give my right hand...

*(in no way are any or all fragments from the sentence above related to the Bible,the Quran, the Torah, the Buddhist bible, any other religious record,book, volume, publication, parchment-with the whole Da Vincci Code hoo-ha, one can't be toooo politically correct,no?*sigh*)

hmmmm..i see a mahjong session coming..

A Series of Unfortunate Events..

06-06-06 - The remade version of the Omen came out yesterday. Having that knowledge haunted the 5-year old in me because that Damien kid was scary-wei!!!Anyways, pushing that thought to the back of my mind, I decided to proceed along my day as per usual...and that's when everything started going wrong.

1. My MAC,my baby, my life...died..tried resusitating her but to no avail..3 years of photos, songs, work..GONE.

2. My car couldn't start. Sent it in to be serviced, the guys there told me my engine kong-kiawed. Had to change the engine.

3. My cedit card bill came in...enough said.

4. A heel broke off my favourite pair of shoes.

Crazy shit...with so much bad karma surrounding me i had to do something quick.
So, i bought her...



Ladies n gentlemen..it is my esteemed pleasure to introduce you to Opium.

I cant believe Dana dies..

have you ever played the i-never game??it's a great party game..everyone kinda sits in a circle and then some one starts.. "I've never driven a kancil before". Whoever HAS driven a kancil before has to drink. And then the next person says something and so on and so forth..i went to this party and needless to say, after a few rounds, you start learning stuff about the people around you (not neccessarily U-Rated)...

when did it become alright for public toilets to start charging RM1 or more to pee??because thats what i got conned into paying the other day as i was trying to scurry over to the toilets in low yat plaza..now why i say "conned" is because thats exactly what it was..a huge con!i mean, for a fucking dollar, i expect my punani to get wiped by like, gold sheets of paper painstakingly pressed and softened with moisturizer after i have arisen from my throne (yes, it should be an actual throne) made preferably by OSIM. And then naturally i would want to wash my hands with luxury soaps flown in from a little town in Paris called LE-eew llaa fhuriec or something, and then have them dried with cloths sewn by nuns in a little abbey who actually went blind because the cloths had such fine threadcount.

but no such thing happened. in fact, there was little to differentiate the normal RM0.10 toilet with this supposed "premier" toilet. But i suppose i should not be disgruntled, after all this is most probably Malaysia's latest plan to improve the economy..its a pretty good plan actually..get the foreigners in to spend on our toilets!it makes perfect sense now..and they're doing it in stages too..jusco, then klcc, then midvalley..now low yat!its just amusing how they have the gall to spring on a signboard that says "Premier Toilets" and then expect people to pay a thousand percent increase...for cleanliness!its like, they were most probably having their big important meetings and then one fucker decided "hey, to increase revenue without us actually having to think, let's just keep our toilets clean and have people pay!!they won't know what hit them!they're so fucking deprived that when they see the clean toilets, they'll be so impressed with us!and grateful!so let's charge 'em!!let's charge em big, boys!!!!now let's go to the karaoke, that mimi wanna love me long time!"

fuck right?cos you know its most probably true.

Ramli and Me.

We have a love affair that goes back years and years...i remember when my virgin mouth touched his meat..succulent, not too salty and just the right colour...sighhhh..my first Ramli burger...*grin*

so last last night, after pushing my patience quotient to the core by not ramming a hot poker into my client for killing my creativity, nay, killing creativity in totality, i decided i needed HIM. R-A-M-L-I. He always knows how to make me feel better. So off i went to get myself a little somethin' called "burger ayam special"....ahhhh..heaven..

now you guys are no stranger to the ramli phenomennon especially if you're malaysian so i dont gotta tell you how yummy one is...i'm quite sure that you have your own personal experinces with that little burger too..y'know, studying for an exam, or after clubbing, or a night out with the guys..it's amazing..while waiting for my burger to cook a few other people came up to the stall and placed their orders, a Chinese man with his two sons, two Malay bikers, an Indian boy holding his football protectively in his arms... this little burger stall, with no frills and two teenage boys for cooks, actually brought Malaysians together..no race difference, nothin'. Just a few hungry people dressed in clothes they normally wouldn't wanna be seen in, having burgers. united and smiling.

Maybe our government should take a page or two outta my man's book...instead of those damn annoying slogans they have every year before Merdeka like.....like......wait gimme a moment........uh........."to know Malaysia is to love Malaysia?"...no wait..that was a Visit Malaysia slogan....hmmm....i gotta get back to you on that one...

See what i mean?they think one slogan every year encourages unity?HOWWW??? I've read somewhere that a sense of nationalism stems from 3 things; shared political history, shared cultural heritage and common outlook and ideals. From stories heard from my parents,i believe Malaysians used to share all three once-upon-a-time..before extensive corruption, senseless development and what seems to be an invisible cape of greed, shrouded us.

and that's why i love my ramli...cos he's there to give you a glimpse of days gone by...where a RM 2.50 burger can cross so many boundaries and for a good ten minutes, life is perfect.

hermit or hoop jumper?

y'know, friends constantly ask me why i dont go out nowadays. (And i 'm sorry, i dont mean to make this another self-indulgent blog entry since there have been so many of late and you guys have been the patientest people ever..but you knowlah..self realisation/actualisation/whatever it is that bugger maslow called it takes time one mah..wise fella, that maslow..)

ok, back to going out..i have a list and this list lists reasons as to why i dont go out.

1. i've moved out from my parents' therefore i HAVE freedom..and peace..and my own ASTRO. dont need to go out and get it.

2. erm, i work. hard. and that precious commodity i work hard for sometimes doesnt stretch to cover my expenses i.e. expensive dinners, etc when i've already spent an embarassing amount on shoes.

3. i AM going out. Just not with you. *grin*

4. My home hasn't had water supply and i havent had a proper shower in 4 days.

5. My home flooded and i've spent the last week getting it back in order.

6. My home hasn't had electricity in 3 days. I am grumpy and dehydrated from all the sweating. i 'm doing you a favour by not going out with you!

7. doing the horizontal tango.

8. laundry,dishes,groceries,ironing,gym.

9. i'm going out with afew Mr./Ms. Maybes and hopefully one of em will turn out to be Mr./Ms. Right! (yes, i'm not ruling it out)

10. I have to write in my blog to tell you in black & white why i can't go out because apparently subtility is lost on people nowadays..things have to be clearly and specifically spelt out so there's no hard feelings..mannn...those bloody hard feelings..chiak par siew eng i tell you..

as you can tell, these aren't exactly reasons one can blurt out when a friend invites one out. so please, keep in mind the next time your friend turns you down for a night out...it's not personal, they just have their own lists that they keep to. (with the exception of number 3 though, if its number 3 then i suggest you try to be a) nicer b) more considerate or c) less cheap)

i'm so parched..

i havent had water supply in my home for the past 2 days..i woke up this morning..i couldnt brush my teeth, take a shower, wash my face or have my 2nd cup of coffee..let's not even get me started on taking a dump..

last night, i slept a total of 2 hours because the fucking emergency truck that supplied water to our building made such a ruckus pumping out water for other people..one question though..why the hell are people still pumping water at 3am in the morning?is it just kiasu-ism or are they insomniacs with nothing better to do?

to make things worse, i think my fish are mocking me..they swim in their tank of clear water just laughing up bubbles at me...wahliao..i think im starting to see a mirage...a beautiful island floating on evian, with waterfalls bubbling up perrier and about 6 hunky firemen dancing around a fire-hydrant (they're most probably gay)...hey, a girl can dream cant she?:P

annnyways..in between water rations, i made my way to the ever wonderful night market in ss2...that place never ceases to amaze me..i counted one tit-bit stall..i reckon he's got like 100 types of different snacks displayed there..can you imagine the clearing he's gotta do every night?after that i nearly tripped over a beggar, nearly got arrested for buying cds..NEARLY being the operative word cos the guy was so quick in hiding his wares that by the time the cops/mppj came it looked like me and vcd guy were just good friends lending money to one another...tee hee..it's amazing how calm he was when faced with stuff like that..he did all of it; hide the cds, put my cds in a bag, gave itto me, took my money, gave me change (and a discount) and lit a ciggarette all in less than a minute..which goes to show that brilliance in people can be displayed in the most unconventional ways..

by the way, i understand that by having a blog i am opening myself to all kinds of critism from people who have their own opinions on how to live life, but if i may..let me just give you a gentle reminder that if you think that this piece of electronic parchment sums me up then i suggest you stop reading blogs altogether and go meet some new people..in real life..and try to learn these words; pinch of salt, life is short, seize the day, sense of humour and UN-learn these words; presumption, assumption, rigidity..k? and then maybe you'll know a little bit about me..oh yeah, and the next time you wanna cross the line and ask me something asinine about my personal life just cos you feel you have the right, please remember this: ask a stupid question, you're gonna get a stupid answer..

Its like being in a grocery store..

labels people labels...thats what we're shooting the breeze about today..i know we've been down this road before but everytime i tell myself that this is gonna be the last time that i write about it some asshole just opens the whole can of worms again...

its like why do we confuse the issue so very much by labeling everything?i mean, yeah i remember studying about how labels help people to identify with a certain group or rather, come to terms with one's own existence but what if sometimes, there's no concrete label?like, what if some dude invented a particular can of food made out of chicken,beef and fish and it tasted really yummy but he couldn't bring himself to sell it cos he hadn't come u with the perfect name to call it?wouldn't the world be short of one yummy dish?(yeah, i know im going off on tangents here but if you'll let me finish..)

so, bringing it back to people....sigh...i guess i just wished there weren't so many derogatory labels that distracted us from seeing the real person,y'know?these are some of the more negative ones i've heard.....spinster, divorcee, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, impotent, cheater, bitch, and the list goes on..

which one have YOU been labeled?do you even know?would you want to know?

my point is that at the end of the fucking day, do you really wanna die in your little box with your life just so?dontcha just wanna go out there and just get to know that yummy can of unlabeled food?

Clarity..

you try to figure it out for such a long time, you question, you wonder, you're mystified......and then, like the matrix... it hits you,the smog clears...and you get it.

and it is so much better than you have ever ever imagined. but at the same time, it fucks with your mind because now, you have a choice to make.before anyone's feelings gets compromised. before you get compromised.

and you wonder if its actually reality you're facing or if its just a way to deal with not dealing with reality.

life just always has a way off throwing you off-balance sometimes, huh?*grin*

The Showernator.

You know how you come home at the end of a long day at work and you just wanna take a looooong shower with cascading water down your back to relax your incredibly tense muscles?hmph..I have no such luck. If there were a prize for the worst shower in the world, it would belong to me hands down...i mean, showers are called showers for a reason, its main purpose to "shower" water onto a person!mine should be called The Trickle, because thats what it does..it trickles water and what should be a relaxing 20 minute shower turns into a struggle to get shampoo/soap outta places!Aiyoh..lagi stress i tell you..
Santa, if you're listening,thats what i want for Christmas, k?

Niki Chow the Child Woman.

Now why would you name your record that?I mean, if I were like, a famous Canto pop singer (which im assuming she is, since her posters are pretty much plastered all over the streets of Hong Kong!)i'm sure there are at least a dozen other names more appealing than "The Child Woman". And it wouldnt even be so bad if there was more elaboration on the posters but there isn't..its just Niki Chow, the Child Woman...i mean, i guess she COULD be a child woman,or a woman child but there's really no need to go telling everyone about it is there?but it must be pretty good advertising since im still thinking about it now so kudos to you, Ms. Niki Chow Child Woman!

Other than interesting advertising that i didnt get, Hong Kong also had so many splendid little quirks that i thought to be incredibly charming and quaint.Not my favourite place to visit, but did bring home some memories:

THE 9 MOST MEMORABLE THINGS ABOUT HONG KONG.


the night skyline..skylines are always one of my favourite things about any city and i reckon Hong Kong didnt dissapoint...the picture's abit shaky though cos it was taken while on the ferry



Hong Kong's convention centre..is it just me or do all Convention Centres sorta look kinda similar?Spent 3 and a half days straight in this building so its definitely one of my favourites now..



Day 2 of convention: one of the directors took us out to taste a typical "hongky" meal..let's just say it was like eating mushy meatballs with rice..



you cant see anything in this picture becasue it was taken swiftly (i didnt wanna get caught) as we were taken upstairs to an imitation bag "showroom". The picture has not been messed with, that is actually how dark the stairs were. At that point in time, i seriously thought we were being kidnapped.it was awesome.



old skool coke..



wahliao..this story could make you cry..its really long so just ask me the next time i see you..



ok, what d'ya reckon this is?dont peek at the next picture lah..aiyoh..



ok give up?its like this cool silicone gripper thingy that you use to take hot pans or plates outta the microwave or oven and it totally doesnt get hot!its briiliant..totally foresee the market to be flooded with these babies in the next month or two..



eggballs!(they look suspiciously like a certain kaya desert that we have here,dontcha think?):P

hokay..tired liao..nites..

The KrisCus Weekend..

'MehhRee Age- An age where people get tempted to get married.'

Wahliao..i dont think i can explain in words how it feels to have a best guy friend get married..its quite surreal really, like, it hasnt really sunk in but you kinda know that nothing's ever gonna be quite the same from now on..

Putting that aside though..it was a smashing weekend..from the Marcus church wedding to Kristine's birthday dinner followed by dancing/drinking the night away to the beautiful hotel reception the following night. A picture's worth a thosand words and all that jazz so just scroll down lah ya?


THE CHURCH...(to me it was blasphemy having to get up at 8am on a Saturday morning...without coffee somemore!)


Subang most probably ran out of Kleenex when it came to them saying their vows to each other..


The beauty of this wedding was that it was so simple and yet so meaningful..even though the choir didnt have, like matching robes, their voices said so much more..


Bumping into LeeLian was lovely..hadnt met up with her properly in gawd knows how long..Pui Yan flew back all the way from UK,bless her soul!


Finally!A proper group shot of us after so very very long..we're missing 2 tho'..


THE NIGHT WITH LITTLE SLEEP...i.e. krissy's smashing shindig!


Putting a slight twist on the ol' cake..ala mode style!


The passion they show for technology brings tears to my eyes..


birthday chic n married man..


in my brain i reckon we look ALMOST cool..hahahahha..


the last sober shot of the night..

OKAY, INTERMISSION..(IMAGINE ELEVATOR MUSIC IS PLAYING..)

we're experiencing a little techinical difficulty with the rest of the wedding pictures so in the meantime..please enjoy (drumroll please)a little something i'd like to call....THE MANY FACES OF PUI YAN!!!!!!




RIGHT..NOW BACK TO DAY 2 OF WEDDING..SHERATON SUBANG...


group and bridal couple..


yes,its a funny face photo but let me tell ya somethin'...i reckon it was partly our prawn dish also lah..see, during the prawn course..the waiter had a plate of king prawns in one hand and a bowl of what seemed to be a bowl of transparent sauce..he confidently pours the sauce over the prawns and starts serving us until we realise the bowl of sauce? its the bowl of lemon water meant for rinsing your fingers!totally the highlight of the night!


ahhhhh...blueetooth...what was life before you??


picture a party of 6 glamorously dressed to go to the mamak..first time in my life i was offered a menu and was called ma'am!that waiter had incredibly comedic timing, i tell you..

Perspective.

Ever get days where you get so damn stressed and you wanna scream your lungs out?And then you go outside and see this:





can't be that bad if there are still things as beautiful as this..have a good week..

Fuck Face.

Some people wear 'em all the time, some don't even know they have one on, some are just born with one..

Let me elaborate. Y'see, meeting new people can be a scary thing. Growing up, i was always told that its easy for me since the gift of gab is pretty much one of the only gifts i've got..But there are people who have had to overcome this serious problem of shyness or the feeling of intimidation when they meet new people..that's still fine, especially in Asian culture where society is generally not as vocal as our Western counterparts. But in that process, i think us Asians, more specifically, KL-lians have developed this thing called the fuck face. The fuck face is a tricky thing because you never really know if the person you're meeting is just born with one but could turn out to be the loveliest person in the world OR just be putting on the fuck face for your benefit when you meet.

You know how it is..you go to a club, you're meeting people and there's allllways that one person who gives you the fuck face. When you're introduced, she/he gives a limp fake smile and then just doesn't smile or look like they're having fun the rest of the night..wait, now that i think of it the fuck face isn't just limited to the face. Sometimes, it travels and ends up affecting the person's personality as well. Like my experience last night, was out with my girls having a brilliant boogie night down at a certain club when Cranky* shows up. (Keep in mind that i've been introduced, had a conversation and even partied with Cranky before) So i'm all excited to see a friend and she, meanwhile does the fuck face turns to me and says "have we met before?" (*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of said person..hey, even bitches have a right to live)

its just annoying lah you know?and yes of course there's the possibility that she did forget me because she was drunk on the numerous occasions that we've met before or hell, maybe i'm just not that memorable but i'm 100% sure that's like a 0.0000001% chance.

ok, i admit that i HAVE fallen prey to the fuck face a couple of times in my life. But sometimes the fuck face is a necessary and recommended shield against people like Cranky. Weird huh?i reckon maybe it just has to be controlled usage or doled out in small dosages or something..hmmmm...

FoOD POISoNInG

Ugh..the throwing up.. the glucose water..the coffee without milk..the dizziness…Some of you call it Sunday morning recovery but I’ve got food poisoning..knew those damn prawn wantons were kinda suspect..oh well, this’ll make it easier for me to find a dress for marcus’ wedding I suppose..(marcus=good friend getting married)

got a call from two good friends, "mates" actually (aussie friends are always mates) and they were speaking to me on a banged up line telling me how they drove from the coast to the whitsundays in 24 hours...(it was supposed to be a 9 hour trip)..somehow one old junk car broke down so they had to get another old- junk and drive the remainder of the way..so they had just arrived and were so high in the sky (we're seriously talking lucy in the sky of diamonds and bob marley here!)that i didnt get the full story..but i got to thinking how much i miss doing crazy nonsensical things like that for no apparent reason, y'know?im all f$%%^ mature now (at least most of the time)and its different..its safe..don't know if thats a good thing..

everyone's an expert lah when it comes to analysing my blog..i've gotten comments that ranged from "you think too much" or "girl, since when you so deep?" to "why don't you ever say anything about me in your blog?" And i love it. I'm glad someone's got an opinion on this piece of pixelated parchment that i put some of my thoughts into. Because i do think alot. I just don't over-think. And more importantly, i hope i'm making you think. I hope you relate. And it really doesn't matter what kinda opinion you have when you read the entries, just as long as you have one.

GO EAT AT DRAGON-i!!!!!3rd floor One Utama...very very very good food...especiaLLY the siu long paos (steamed dumplings that squirt juice into your mouth...you actually have to get a number to get a seat so i suggest you make reservations before you go..even their deep fried eel and fried beans and chicken with curry leaves..EXCEPTIONAL!!however, my appetite did wane slightly when i saw their lighting..maybe the interior decorator was a gay male who hadn't seen one before so when he did up the place he didnt realise till it was too late..


i don't know..you tell me..isn't it kinda....obscene?

Household Questions

i'm a spaz and i need help.really.

1. How long do eggs last in your fridge?i bought these organic ones and last night i tried smelling em and they smell funny. it might just have a stronger smell than ordinary eggs or they mght actually be bad..they've been in there about 3 weeks.help.please.

2. how the hell do i connect my sony speakers to a non-sony dvd player?

3. whats a comfortable couch?i've been on heaps but i cant decide on one to purchase. the variety is endless!fuck.

4. how can i clean/wipe/laser dirt off my mac?i've tried everything!help.

do not laugh at my questions man..cos i'm sure somewhere in the back of your mind, u got your OWN list of un-answerable questions..

Strength.

I went rock climbing on saturday. I've been wanting to do it for the longest time and so although i knew absolutely nothing about hard masses or climbing (except maybe when it comes to the opposite sex...)i decided to give it a go!So fastforward 2 hours later, firmly secured in our harnesses and equipped with the knowledge of how to tie a sexy 8-knot (i dunno, the trainer was very insistent that our knots were sexy, if they weren't pleasing to the eye, he made us do it again..i reckon he spends too much time alone..)my friends and i conquered NOT ONLY the beginner's wall but ALSO the 5A wall..(the crowd says "ooooohhhhh" "wahhhhhhh")....annnnyways..suffice to say that i am now a huuuugeee fan of climbing..its really empowering (regardless of whether you're a man or a woman), it gets your stamina up, its incredibly fun and you really have to push your limits and your strength.


courtesy of JuAn Images Inc.


courtesy of JuAn Images Inc.

So yesterday, as my aching shoulders, chest, back, abs and arms re-cuperated..i got to thinking about strength. To be more specific, inner strength. I dont intend to make this a huge feminist spiel but i just wanna make my peace with that, men may have more physical strength but i think women have more inner strength. I remember a tv scene that just stuck in my head for some reason and it had a woman and a man in the scene. The man was trying to understand what it was like to be a woman. The woman said to him " Take all your clothes off, write 'FUCK ME' in huge words on your chest, open the door, walk down that crowded street, if someone fucks you, you take it with a smile and ask if they would like to do it again and if they don't, you say 'thank you so much for your time'.That's what its like to be a woman in the world today."

Darling men, please dont get all huffy and run to your mommy. I love your kind way too much to hurt you or want to ridicule you ever. But please keep this mind when you go out with any of my kind tonight:

1. Respect. Always vital.

2. You go down on her. Yeah, you heard it right. If all you're doing is the missionary and you think those moans are for real, wake up. They're not. (And by the way, don't EVER EVER tell her she has to have hair removal treatment. Make up a story. Like "Baby, you know i heard on the news the other day that if you dont shave down there, there's a 65% higher chance of fungal infection."

3. Don't be a woman. There's a fine line between giving in and being a pussy.

4. We know when you're whiny, when you're cowardly and when you're cheap. Do not mistake politeness for stupidity.

5. The more you control your woman, the more she will think of cheating of you. Yes, even the nice,quiet ones. You wanna know why there are less reported cases of women cheating on their husbands?we lie better.(Inner strength remember?)

I dont mean to insult, ridicule or belittle anyone. To me, this is truth. Even though most people won't say it.

Happy Relationshiping Everyone!

FREE MONEY!!!!!

I received an sms from a close friend of mine a few days ago asking me to sign a SPCA petition. I was shocked and then appalled that the signatories on the petititon have not reached SPCA's target of 100,000 people. They need the petititon to be signed because owners that treat their animals terribly are not being punished adequately. RM 100 will not bring back that animal's life. The reason i started this blog roughly 6 months ago was BECAUSE of this plight. Now i'm just angry. Pissed off because when there's a fucking sale in MNG or IKEA..half the fucking country is there in two shakes of a tail but when it involves something less glamorous or seemingly inconsequential to our lives, we choose to forget, we choose to be lazy, we choose to close ourselves off to it.

So this is my new plan. THE FIRST 20 PEOPLE EACH MONTH TO SIGN THAT PETITION AND TELL 5 MORE PEOPLE ABOUT THE PETITION WILL GET RM 10 FROM ME. SIMPLE RIGHT?DO IT. GO TO www.spca.org.my AND SIGN NOW. PRINT OUT THE FORM AND EMAIL IT TO ME BY THE 30TH OF MARCH WITH YOUR NAME AND PHONE NUMBER AND I WILL GIVE YOU THE MONEY IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE FIRST 20 PEOPLE. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. SIGN, PRINT AND YOU GET FREE MONEY. MEANWHILE, READ STORY BELOW.
Born seven years ago, Sheena was a beautiful German Shepherd who died in August this year. The hope and happiness of a puppy were dashed when Sheena ended up in the hands of a cruel owner.

The photos below are of Sheena in the last days of her life. These photos splashed across the national newspapers with her ribs sticking out and stomache bloated sitting by her rusty bowl of contaminated water broke hearts all across the country. Her owner, an engineer from Subang Jaya had kept her tied up and starving.





Based on the post-mortem report, Sheena was infected with ticks. She also suffered brittle bones due to malnutrition from young and the malfunction of all her major organs causing water retention which resulted in a bloated abdomen, empty bladder and stomach.

According to newspaper reports, a neighbour had trice telephoned the Selangor Veterinary Department, but nobody went to save the dog. Finally, she called the SPCA and they rushed to the scene to find her still tied and sleeping in her own faeces.

The rescue came too late. Sheena had to be put down on August 18, 2005. The post-mortem revealed that she had suffered neglect for years.

Ironically, it is likely that Sheena, the very same dog starved by her owner, would still lick his hand today if she were alive.

Reports that came in just days after Sheena’s story broke

Soon after Sheena’s ordeal was highlighted in the Press, the Star carried on its front page, the story of a Malayan Tiger that was butchered into four pieces. The perpetrator was apprehended and brought before the court, but set free after he paid a RM7,000 fine. The parts could easily fetch much more on the market than the fine he had paid.

And only days later, another story appeared in the Star of a breeder who kept his cats in such deplorable conditions that even the published photographs of one cat did not look like a cat at all.


Why we should remember her?

Sheena stands for all the abused and neglected pets in Malaysia. The 21st century has seen an increase in reported abuse of domestic animals. Many of these pets are returned to their owners after the case is investigated, and prosecution takes place. The Animal Ordinance 1953 has a maximum of RM200 fine and/or 6 months imprisonment as penalty for abusing an animal. In Sheena’s case, her owner admitted guilt, and was fined RM100, not even a quarter of the price of a German Shepherd puppy, and definitely not even close to the price of her precious life. Sheena must be remembered, so that other animals won’t suffer.

For every animal SPCA rescues, there are many more out there who are still waiting to see the light of day. The only way forward now is to educate people on how to treat animals.

Please do not think that this cruelty will end with the animals. When we allow an environment which is conducive for abusive pet owners to breed, we can rest assured there will be other social problems that will arise along with animal cruelty.

So please help us give a voice to the voiceless.

The Aussies, The Brits and The people who let George W. lead 'em

One of my best friends sent me this today..i laughed. its funny. read below.


Aussie humour is just as famous as its barbies and Crocodile Dundee,
so it makes plenty of sense that Tourism Australia's newest campaign
plays on the idea of the plain-speaking Aussie with the catchy phrase:
"So where the bloody hell are you?" - complete with a girl in a
bikini, beers in a pub, Aboriginal dancers, camels and crystal blue
waters.
 
If you are among the thousands expected to make their way Down Under
this year, be it for the upcoming Melbourne 2006 Commonwealth Games or
simply for a dose of Aussie hospitality, you'll want to take note of
the questions below from potential visitors which were posted on an
Australian tourism website. The answers are the actual responses by
the website officials, who obviously have a quirky sense of humour.


UK: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow?.
 
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
 
 
 
USA: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?
 
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
 
 
 
Sweden: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks?
 
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.
 
 
 
USA: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
 
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
 
 
 
USA: Which direction is north in Australia?
 
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
 
 
 
UK: Can I bring cutlery into Australia?
 
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
 
 
 
USA: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
 
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
 
 
 
UK: Can I wear high heels in Australia?
 
A: You are a British politician, right?
 
 
 
Germany: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all
year round?
 
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk
is illegal.
 
 
 
USA: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum.
 
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
 
 
 
USA: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of a bear and lives in trees.
 
A: It's called a Gum Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop
out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before
you go out walking.
 
 
 
France: Do you have perfume in Australia?
 
A: No, WE don't stink.
 
 
USA: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you tell me where I can sell it in Australia?
 
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
 
 
 
France: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?
 
A: Only at Christmas.
 
 
 
USA: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
 
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Are you Chinese??

you can only read what it says if you're chinese..if you're of another ethnicity, you gotta pull the sides of your eyes to make them look like slits then you'll be able to read what it says.....


today, the last of my seapark fish died..do NOT ever go to the SEAPARK FISH SHOP..i swear they poison the poor fish or something..of course at first my close friends and family suspected that it was my fault, hell, even i blamed me!but thheeenn it was really weird how my oldder fish are ok...in fact some of 'em just gave birth..AGAIN..(female fish are so slutty, i tell you..)


fish babies kinda look like sperm with eyes..


babies with mommy..

yeah, you're wondering why im talking about fish?cos i reckon every yuppie should own a guppie.(ok, i know guppy's spelt with a 'y' but this way, it rhymes..:P)

fish are really really relaxing...and trust me, after owning hamsters, guines pigs, bunnies,dwarf bunnies, a chameleon, a cat, dogs, baby chicks and ducks, turtles and god knows what else...fish are the easiest to keep, they're tame and soooooo calming..and so, in my quest to reach zen-ness, i reckon fish is the first step...ohmmmm...go on..be a guppy-yuppie!(geezus, i must be stressed)

on a completely different note..i CANNOT for the life of me believe there's gonna be ANOTHER singing reality tv programme!what is up with THAT?ok, fine..i agree there is a very very small percentage of Malaysians out there who can actually whoop Mariah's ass but do we really need one more screamy, ear-piercing show on prime time to display our lack of talent??come on!!at least a malaysian version of the apprentice would be more enjoyable..or what about drama?even a big brother house with all the censorship would be more enjoyable..and between you and me, isn't seeing people make fools of themselves the whole point of reality tv anyway?

in the news today: a survey was taken on 1000 malaysian men on whether they were considerate about their partners needs in bed. they reckon the results were positive because 39% said they take into consideration their partners wants. i laughed so hard i nearly peed in my pants. first of all, if they wanted to find out if women's needs were being met in bed, shouldnt they be asking the women?second of all, how can 39% be a good thing?that means 61% of women are getting bad sex!our newspapers crack me up..

You know you're not 17 anymore when..

1. You're out with your friends and instead of dinner being the pre-party to the clubbing that'll happen after...it IS the party!

2. You get the lights shut off on your group at Delicious (Ms. Read) and Starbucks instead of at Zouk or Poppy.

3. Conversation turns to business, the government, travel, China's economic growth instead of who wore what at this year's Oscars.

3. When you DO finally decide that you're going clubbing, you do the responsible thing by car-pooling. Your friends and yourself also decide that you're staying till 2am-latest, because next day have to get ready for work.

4. When you're at the club, you suddenly realise its very loud. You all then proceed to lose each other because of uncertainty and blurness.

5. Your group, on hearing Song 2 by Blur, immediately start jumping up and down like maniacs and reminiscing..when everyone else on the dancefloor dont seem to know the song.

6. The hellos and goodbyes are longer than the actual time you spend together.

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!WELCOME HOME KRISSY!!!


this marvellous man kept up his balancing act for a whole 10 minutes while my stupid phone un-hung itself..thanks waiter man!!


we found marcus!!


her top was amazing..y'know sarah jessica parker's naked dress in sex and the city right?


kris and ah seng..it's been a long while since seeing a guy try to down a whole bottle of alcohol!


it was like a srikl reunion!


pam & mua


i was sooooo drunk...on coke.


i dont have a picture of juan from the other night so this'll have to do for now..:P