Household Questions

i'm a spaz and i need help.really.

1. How long do eggs last in your fridge?i bought these organic ones and last night i tried smelling em and they smell funny. it might just have a stronger smell than ordinary eggs or they mght actually be bad..they've been in there about 3 weeks.help.please.

2. how the hell do i connect my sony speakers to a non-sony dvd player?

3. whats a comfortable couch?i've been on heaps but i cant decide on one to purchase. the variety is endless!fuck.

4. how can i clean/wipe/laser dirt off my mac?i've tried everything!help.

do not laugh at my questions man..cos i'm sure somewhere in the back of your mind, u got your OWN list of un-answerable questions..

Strength.

I went rock climbing on saturday. I've been wanting to do it for the longest time and so although i knew absolutely nothing about hard masses or climbing (except maybe when it comes to the opposite sex...)i decided to give it a go!So fastforward 2 hours later, firmly secured in our harnesses and equipped with the knowledge of how to tie a sexy 8-knot (i dunno, the trainer was very insistent that our knots were sexy, if they weren't pleasing to the eye, he made us do it again..i reckon he spends too much time alone..)my friends and i conquered NOT ONLY the beginner's wall but ALSO the 5A wall..(the crowd says "ooooohhhhh" "wahhhhhhh")....annnnyways..suffice to say that i am now a huuuugeee fan of climbing..its really empowering (regardless of whether you're a man or a woman), it gets your stamina up, its incredibly fun and you really have to push your limits and your strength.


courtesy of JuAn Images Inc.


courtesy of JuAn Images Inc.

So yesterday, as my aching shoulders, chest, back, abs and arms re-cuperated..i got to thinking about strength. To be more specific, inner strength. I dont intend to make this a huge feminist spiel but i just wanna make my peace with that, men may have more physical strength but i think women have more inner strength. I remember a tv scene that just stuck in my head for some reason and it had a woman and a man in the scene. The man was trying to understand what it was like to be a woman. The woman said to him " Take all your clothes off, write 'FUCK ME' in huge words on your chest, open the door, walk down that crowded street, if someone fucks you, you take it with a smile and ask if they would like to do it again and if they don't, you say 'thank you so much for your time'.That's what its like to be a woman in the world today."

Darling men, please dont get all huffy and run to your mommy. I love your kind way too much to hurt you or want to ridicule you ever. But please keep this mind when you go out with any of my kind tonight:

1. Respect. Always vital.

2. You go down on her. Yeah, you heard it right. If all you're doing is the missionary and you think those moans are for real, wake up. They're not. (And by the way, don't EVER EVER tell her she has to have hair removal treatment. Make up a story. Like "Baby, you know i heard on the news the other day that if you dont shave down there, there's a 65% higher chance of fungal infection."

3. Don't be a woman. There's a fine line between giving in and being a pussy.

4. We know when you're whiny, when you're cowardly and when you're cheap. Do not mistake politeness for stupidity.

5. The more you control your woman, the more she will think of cheating of you. Yes, even the nice,quiet ones. You wanna know why there are less reported cases of women cheating on their husbands?we lie better.(Inner strength remember?)

I dont mean to insult, ridicule or belittle anyone. To me, this is truth. Even though most people won't say it.

Happy Relationshiping Everyone!

FREE MONEY!!!!!

I received an sms from a close friend of mine a few days ago asking me to sign a SPCA petition. I was shocked and then appalled that the signatories on the petititon have not reached SPCA's target of 100,000 people. They need the petititon to be signed because owners that treat their animals terribly are not being punished adequately. RM 100 will not bring back that animal's life. The reason i started this blog roughly 6 months ago was BECAUSE of this plight. Now i'm just angry. Pissed off because when there's a fucking sale in MNG or IKEA..half the fucking country is there in two shakes of a tail but when it involves something less glamorous or seemingly inconsequential to our lives, we choose to forget, we choose to be lazy, we choose to close ourselves off to it.

So this is my new plan. THE FIRST 20 PEOPLE EACH MONTH TO SIGN THAT PETITION AND TELL 5 MORE PEOPLE ABOUT THE PETITION WILL GET RM 10 FROM ME. SIMPLE RIGHT?DO IT. GO TO www.spca.org.my AND SIGN NOW. PRINT OUT THE FORM AND EMAIL IT TO ME BY THE 30TH OF MARCH WITH YOUR NAME AND PHONE NUMBER AND I WILL GIVE YOU THE MONEY IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE FIRST 20 PEOPLE. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. SIGN, PRINT AND YOU GET FREE MONEY. MEANWHILE, READ STORY BELOW.
Born seven years ago, Sheena was a beautiful German Shepherd who died in August this year. The hope and happiness of a puppy were dashed when Sheena ended up in the hands of a cruel owner.

The photos below are of Sheena in the last days of her life. These photos splashed across the national newspapers with her ribs sticking out and stomache bloated sitting by her rusty bowl of contaminated water broke hearts all across the country. Her owner, an engineer from Subang Jaya had kept her tied up and starving.





Based on the post-mortem report, Sheena was infected with ticks. She also suffered brittle bones due to malnutrition from young and the malfunction of all her major organs causing water retention which resulted in a bloated abdomen, empty bladder and stomach.

According to newspaper reports, a neighbour had trice telephoned the Selangor Veterinary Department, but nobody went to save the dog. Finally, she called the SPCA and they rushed to the scene to find her still tied and sleeping in her own faeces.

The rescue came too late. Sheena had to be put down on August 18, 2005. The post-mortem revealed that she had suffered neglect for years.

Ironically, it is likely that Sheena, the very same dog starved by her owner, would still lick his hand today if she were alive.

Reports that came in just days after Sheena’s story broke

Soon after Sheena’s ordeal was highlighted in the Press, the Star carried on its front page, the story of a Malayan Tiger that was butchered into four pieces. The perpetrator was apprehended and brought before the court, but set free after he paid a RM7,000 fine. The parts could easily fetch much more on the market than the fine he had paid.

And only days later, another story appeared in the Star of a breeder who kept his cats in such deplorable conditions that even the published photographs of one cat did not look like a cat at all.


Why we should remember her?

Sheena stands for all the abused and neglected pets in Malaysia. The 21st century has seen an increase in reported abuse of domestic animals. Many of these pets are returned to their owners after the case is investigated, and prosecution takes place. The Animal Ordinance 1953 has a maximum of RM200 fine and/or 6 months imprisonment as penalty for abusing an animal. In Sheena’s case, her owner admitted guilt, and was fined RM100, not even a quarter of the price of a German Shepherd puppy, and definitely not even close to the price of her precious life. Sheena must be remembered, so that other animals won’t suffer.

For every animal SPCA rescues, there are many more out there who are still waiting to see the light of day. The only way forward now is to educate people on how to treat animals.

Please do not think that this cruelty will end with the animals. When we allow an environment which is conducive for abusive pet owners to breed, we can rest assured there will be other social problems that will arise along with animal cruelty.

So please help us give a voice to the voiceless.

The Aussies, The Brits and The people who let George W. lead 'em

One of my best friends sent me this today..i laughed. its funny. read below.


Aussie humour is just as famous as its barbies and Crocodile Dundee,
so it makes plenty of sense that Tourism Australia's newest campaign
plays on the idea of the plain-speaking Aussie with the catchy phrase:
"So where the bloody hell are you?" - complete with a girl in a
bikini, beers in a pub, Aboriginal dancers, camels and crystal blue
waters.
 
If you are among the thousands expected to make their way Down Under
this year, be it for the upcoming Melbourne 2006 Commonwealth Games or
simply for a dose of Aussie hospitality, you'll want to take note of
the questions below from potential visitors which were posted on an
Australian tourism website. The answers are the actual responses by
the website officials, who obviously have a quirky sense of humour.


UK: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow?.
 
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
 
 
 
USA: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?
 
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
 
 
 
Sweden: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks?
 
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.
 
 
 
USA: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
 
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
 
 
 
USA: Which direction is north in Australia?
 
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
 
 
 
UK: Can I bring cutlery into Australia?
 
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
 
 
 
USA: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
 
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
 
 
 
UK: Can I wear high heels in Australia?
 
A: You are a British politician, right?
 
 
 
Germany: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all
year round?
 
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk
is illegal.
 
 
 
USA: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum.
 
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
 
 
 
USA: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of a bear and lives in trees.
 
A: It's called a Gum Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop
out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before
you go out walking.
 
 
 
France: Do you have perfume in Australia?
 
A: No, WE don't stink.
 
 
USA: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you tell me where I can sell it in Australia?
 
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
 
 
 
France: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?
 
A: Only at Christmas.
 
 
 
USA: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
 
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Are you Chinese??

you can only read what it says if you're chinese..if you're of another ethnicity, you gotta pull the sides of your eyes to make them look like slits then you'll be able to read what it says.....


today, the last of my seapark fish died..do NOT ever go to the SEAPARK FISH SHOP..i swear they poison the poor fish or something..of course at first my close friends and family suspected that it was my fault, hell, even i blamed me!but thheeenn it was really weird how my oldder fish are ok...in fact some of 'em just gave birth..AGAIN..(female fish are so slutty, i tell you..)


fish babies kinda look like sperm with eyes..


babies with mommy..

yeah, you're wondering why im talking about fish?cos i reckon every yuppie should own a guppie.(ok, i know guppy's spelt with a 'y' but this way, it rhymes..:P)

fish are really really relaxing...and trust me, after owning hamsters, guines pigs, bunnies,dwarf bunnies, a chameleon, a cat, dogs, baby chicks and ducks, turtles and god knows what else...fish are the easiest to keep, they're tame and soooooo calming..and so, in my quest to reach zen-ness, i reckon fish is the first step...ohmmmm...go on..be a guppy-yuppie!(geezus, i must be stressed)

on a completely different note..i CANNOT for the life of me believe there's gonna be ANOTHER singing reality tv programme!what is up with THAT?ok, fine..i agree there is a very very small percentage of Malaysians out there who can actually whoop Mariah's ass but do we really need one more screamy, ear-piercing show on prime time to display our lack of talent??come on!!at least a malaysian version of the apprentice would be more enjoyable..or what about drama?even a big brother house with all the censorship would be more enjoyable..and between you and me, isn't seeing people make fools of themselves the whole point of reality tv anyway?

in the news today: a survey was taken on 1000 malaysian men on whether they were considerate about their partners needs in bed. they reckon the results were positive because 39% said they take into consideration their partners wants. i laughed so hard i nearly peed in my pants. first of all, if they wanted to find out if women's needs were being met in bed, shouldnt they be asking the women?second of all, how can 39% be a good thing?that means 61% of women are getting bad sex!our newspapers crack me up..

You know you're not 17 anymore when..

1. You're out with your friends and instead of dinner being the pre-party to the clubbing that'll happen after...it IS the party!

2. You get the lights shut off on your group at Delicious (Ms. Read) and Starbucks instead of at Zouk or Poppy.

3. Conversation turns to business, the government, travel, China's economic growth instead of who wore what at this year's Oscars.

3. When you DO finally decide that you're going clubbing, you do the responsible thing by car-pooling. Your friends and yourself also decide that you're staying till 2am-latest, because next day have to get ready for work.

4. When you're at the club, you suddenly realise its very loud. You all then proceed to lose each other because of uncertainty and blurness.

5. Your group, on hearing Song 2 by Blur, immediately start jumping up and down like maniacs and reminiscing..when everyone else on the dancefloor dont seem to know the song.

6. The hellos and goodbyes are longer than the actual time you spend together.

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!WELCOME HOME KRISSY!!!


this marvellous man kept up his balancing act for a whole 10 minutes while my stupid phone un-hung itself..thanks waiter man!!


we found marcus!!


her top was amazing..y'know sarah jessica parker's naked dress in sex and the city right?


kris and ah seng..it's been a long while since seeing a guy try to down a whole bottle of alcohol!


it was like a srikl reunion!


pam & mua


i was sooooo drunk...on coke.


i dont have a picture of juan from the other night so this'll have to do for now..:P