I cant believe Dana dies..

have you ever played the i-never game??it's a great party game..everyone kinda sits in a circle and then some one starts.. "I've never driven a kancil before". Whoever HAS driven a kancil before has to drink. And then the next person says something and so on and so forth..i went to this party and needless to say, after a few rounds, you start learning stuff about the people around you (not neccessarily U-Rated)...

when did it become alright for public toilets to start charging RM1 or more to pee??because thats what i got conned into paying the other day as i was trying to scurry over to the toilets in low yat plaza..now why i say "conned" is because thats exactly what it was..a huge con!i mean, for a fucking dollar, i expect my punani to get wiped by like, gold sheets of paper painstakingly pressed and softened with moisturizer after i have arisen from my throne (yes, it should be an actual throne) made preferably by OSIM. And then naturally i would want to wash my hands with luxury soaps flown in from a little town in Paris called LE-eew llaa fhuriec or something, and then have them dried with cloths sewn by nuns in a little abbey who actually went blind because the cloths had such fine threadcount.

but no such thing happened. in fact, there was little to differentiate the normal RM0.10 toilet with this supposed "premier" toilet. But i suppose i should not be disgruntled, after all this is most probably Malaysia's latest plan to improve the economy..its a pretty good plan actually..get the foreigners in to spend on our toilets!it makes perfect sense now..and they're doing it in stages too..jusco, then klcc, then midvalley..now low yat!its just amusing how they have the gall to spring on a signboard that says "Premier Toilets" and then expect people to pay a thousand percent increase...for cleanliness!its like, they were most probably having their big important meetings and then one fucker decided "hey, to increase revenue without us actually having to think, let's just keep our toilets clean and have people pay!!they won't know what hit them!they're so fucking deprived that when they see the clean toilets, they'll be so impressed with us!and grateful!so let's charge 'em!!let's charge em big, boys!!!!now let's go to the karaoke, that mimi wanna love me long time!"

fuck right?cos you know its most probably true.

Ramli and Me.

We have a love affair that goes back years and years...i remember when my virgin mouth touched his meat..succulent, not too salty and just the right colour...sighhhh..my first Ramli burger...*grin*

so last last night, after pushing my patience quotient to the core by not ramming a hot poker into my client for killing my creativity, nay, killing creativity in totality, i decided i needed HIM. R-A-M-L-I. He always knows how to make me feel better. So off i went to get myself a little somethin' called "burger ayam special"....ahhhh..heaven..

now you guys are no stranger to the ramli phenomennon especially if you're malaysian so i dont gotta tell you how yummy one is...i'm quite sure that you have your own personal experinces with that little burger too..y'know, studying for an exam, or after clubbing, or a night out with the guys..it's amazing..while waiting for my burger to cook a few other people came up to the stall and placed their orders, a Chinese man with his two sons, two Malay bikers, an Indian boy holding his football protectively in his arms... this little burger stall, with no frills and two teenage boys for cooks, actually brought Malaysians together..no race difference, nothin'. Just a few hungry people dressed in clothes they normally wouldn't wanna be seen in, having burgers. united and smiling.

Maybe our government should take a page or two outta my man's book...instead of those damn annoying slogans they have every year before Merdeka like.....like......wait gimme a moment........uh........."to know Malaysia is to love Malaysia?"...no wait..that was a Visit Malaysia slogan....hmmm....i gotta get back to you on that one...

See what i mean?they think one slogan every year encourages unity?HOWWW??? I've read somewhere that a sense of nationalism stems from 3 things; shared political history, shared cultural heritage and common outlook and ideals. From stories heard from my parents,i believe Malaysians used to share all three once-upon-a-time..before extensive corruption, senseless development and what seems to be an invisible cape of greed, shrouded us.

and that's why i love my ramli...cos he's there to give you a glimpse of days gone by...where a RM 2.50 burger can cross so many boundaries and for a good ten minutes, life is perfect.

hermit or hoop jumper?

y'know, friends constantly ask me why i dont go out nowadays. (And i 'm sorry, i dont mean to make this another self-indulgent blog entry since there have been so many of late and you guys have been the patientest people ever..but you knowlah..self realisation/actualisation/whatever it is that bugger maslow called it takes time one mah..wise fella, that maslow..)

ok, back to going out..i have a list and this list lists reasons as to why i dont go out.

1. i've moved out from my parents' therefore i HAVE freedom..and peace..and my own ASTRO. dont need to go out and get it.

2. erm, i work. hard. and that precious commodity i work hard for sometimes doesnt stretch to cover my expenses i.e. expensive dinners, etc when i've already spent an embarassing amount on shoes.

3. i AM going out. Just not with you. *grin*

4. My home hasn't had water supply and i havent had a proper shower in 4 days.

5. My home flooded and i've spent the last week getting it back in order.

6. My home hasn't had electricity in 3 days. I am grumpy and dehydrated from all the sweating. i 'm doing you a favour by not going out with you!

7. doing the horizontal tango.

8. laundry,dishes,groceries,ironing,gym.

9. i'm going out with afew Mr./Ms. Maybes and hopefully one of em will turn out to be Mr./Ms. Right! (yes, i'm not ruling it out)

10. I have to write in my blog to tell you in black & white why i can't go out because apparently subtility is lost on people nowadays..things have to be clearly and specifically spelt out so there's no hard feelings..mannn...those bloody hard feelings..chiak par siew eng i tell you..

as you can tell, these aren't exactly reasons one can blurt out when a friend invites one out. so please, keep in mind the next time your friend turns you down for a night out...it's not personal, they just have their own lists that they keep to. (with the exception of number 3 though, if its number 3 then i suggest you try to be a) nicer b) more considerate or c) less cheap)

i'm so parched..

i havent had water supply in my home for the past 2 days..i woke up this morning..i couldnt brush my teeth, take a shower, wash my face or have my 2nd cup of coffee..let's not even get me started on taking a dump..

last night, i slept a total of 2 hours because the fucking emergency truck that supplied water to our building made such a ruckus pumping out water for other people..one question though..why the hell are people still pumping water at 3am in the morning?is it just kiasu-ism or are they insomniacs with nothing better to do?

to make things worse, i think my fish are mocking me..they swim in their tank of clear water just laughing up bubbles at me...wahliao..i think im starting to see a mirage...a beautiful island floating on evian, with waterfalls bubbling up perrier and about 6 hunky firemen dancing around a fire-hydrant (they're most probably gay)...hey, a girl can dream cant she?:P

annnyways..in between water rations, i made my way to the ever wonderful night market in ss2...that place never ceases to amaze me..i counted one tit-bit stall..i reckon he's got like 100 types of different snacks displayed there..can you imagine the clearing he's gotta do every night?after that i nearly tripped over a beggar, nearly got arrested for buying cds..NEARLY being the operative word cos the guy was so quick in hiding his wares that by the time the cops/mppj came it looked like me and vcd guy were just good friends lending money to one another...tee hee..it's amazing how calm he was when faced with stuff like that..he did all of it; hide the cds, put my cds in a bag, gave itto me, took my money, gave me change (and a discount) and lit a ciggarette all in less than a minute..which goes to show that brilliance in people can be displayed in the most unconventional ways..

by the way, i understand that by having a blog i am opening myself to all kinds of critism from people who have their own opinions on how to live life, but if i may..let me just give you a gentle reminder that if you think that this piece of electronic parchment sums me up then i suggest you stop reading blogs altogether and go meet some new people..in real life..and try to learn these words; pinch of salt, life is short, seize the day, sense of humour and UN-learn these words; presumption, assumption, rigidity..k? and then maybe you'll know a little bit about me..oh yeah, and the next time you wanna cross the line and ask me something asinine about my personal life just cos you feel you have the right, please remember this: ask a stupid question, you're gonna get a stupid answer..

Its like being in a grocery store..

labels people labels...thats what we're shooting the breeze about today..i know we've been down this road before but everytime i tell myself that this is gonna be the last time that i write about it some asshole just opens the whole can of worms again...

its like why do we confuse the issue so very much by labeling everything?i mean, yeah i remember studying about how labels help people to identify with a certain group or rather, come to terms with one's own existence but what if sometimes, there's no concrete label?like, what if some dude invented a particular can of food made out of chicken,beef and fish and it tasted really yummy but he couldn't bring himself to sell it cos he hadn't come u with the perfect name to call it?wouldn't the world be short of one yummy dish?(yeah, i know im going off on tangents here but if you'll let me finish..)

so, bringing it back to people....sigh...i guess i just wished there weren't so many derogatory labels that distracted us from seeing the real person,y'know?these are some of the more negative ones i've heard.....spinster, divorcee, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, impotent, cheater, bitch, and the list goes on..

which one have YOU been labeled?do you even know?would you want to know?

my point is that at the end of the fucking day, do you really wanna die in your little box with your life just so?dontcha just wanna go out there and just get to know that yummy can of unlabeled food?

Clarity..

you try to figure it out for such a long time, you question, you wonder, you're mystified......and then, like the matrix... it hits you,the smog clears...and you get it.

and it is so much better than you have ever ever imagined. but at the same time, it fucks with your mind because now, you have a choice to make.before anyone's feelings gets compromised. before you get compromised.

and you wonder if its actually reality you're facing or if its just a way to deal with not dealing with reality.

life just always has a way off throwing you off-balance sometimes, huh?*grin*

The Showernator.

You know how you come home at the end of a long day at work and you just wanna take a looooong shower with cascading water down your back to relax your incredibly tense muscles?hmph..I have no such luck. If there were a prize for the worst shower in the world, it would belong to me hands down...i mean, showers are called showers for a reason, its main purpose to "shower" water onto a person!mine should be called The Trickle, because thats what it does..it trickles water and what should be a relaxing 20 minute shower turns into a struggle to get shampoo/soap outta places!Aiyoh..lagi stress i tell you..
Santa, if you're listening,thats what i want for Christmas, k?