Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. -Anais Nin-

I miss her. No, its not her anniversary because I block out when that is.. and its not her birthday.and i dont think i need an occassion to remember or to think of her. its taken me 3 years to be able to speak or write about it.it'll take me many more to come to terms with it.i havent done anything for fear of it sounding insincere or cheesy or worse, not doing justice to her.but this i'm doing because i hope that people start appreciating their life more and stop sweating the little things in it.because thats what she taught me.

Sometimes, I get a jolt of fear because I have to stop or look at her picture to remind myself exactly what she looks like.because im starting to forget. I remember us eating keropok every time I used to visit..i remember loooooooong phone conversations over boys, over school,over anything really…but I cant remember her phone number.

I remember her first date with her one and only love..because I was there..she made me go with her..one-utama..i don’t remember which movie..to this day I feel honoured.

I remember she was cranky as hell in the mornings (janda baik,janda baik), and she liked yellow flowers. I remember and will always remember that she was kind and sweet and funny and intelligent and wonderful. She could also be incredibly cranky and indecisive. i remember she used to take eye lash curling to the next level. And she had the highest pitched voice..:)

I remember how strong she was.and how stupid and selfish I was.i cant remember the fight.for the life of me, I cant remember the fight.but I do remember that I was childish and cruel. and I didn’t get to say good bye.the two worst things ive ever done in my life. i remember our last conversation.

I just miss her more during these months..

We just celebrated juan’s birthday..you would’ve loved it. I forgot to wish yan on her birthday and she was really nice about it,now she doesn’t have to wish me for the next ten years..haha..guess being the shit friend I am, you kinda expected me to forget yours huh?well, I did.and im sorry. You don’t have to wish me for the next ten years either. I hope you’ve been doing good mixing with the likes of River Phoenix and Elvis and Marilyn..and by the way, good job on the whole looking down on us thing.we love you and miss you and we’re are oh-so envious that you will forever be a beautiful goddess while we grow older each year..*GRIN*

Happy Belated Birthday and the next time I visit, im bringing the keropok.Love you girl..

R.I.P. Q.C.