Crossroads..

cant sleep..been swamped with work lately and tonight its just been this one thought..pounding pounding...choices..

we make em every day..you choose, i choose, i believe even ewan mcgregor said something about choices in a li'l movie called trainspotting didnt he?..heterosexuality, homosexuality, abortion, death, virginity, divorce, marriage, knowledge,success..to some it might seem controversial, to some just words and others might not even care..to me..they are personal..they are personal because i have either recently or not-so-recently met these people, pondered these topics as might have you..whether in depth or just in passing..

i have friends who have chosen either just one or more of the above and i never thought about it much before because naturally being human makes one a little more self involved than one would like to think one is....but thinking about it makes me realise how much respect and love i have for these people..for making that choice. whatever choice it may be. to my dear friends who arent out of the closet, who hasn't done "it", who gave up a part of you, thank you for helping me understand, for fucking killing my stereotypes, for allowing me to see your courage, for making me see this whole new world..for putting up with the dirty looks and assumptions and shallowness of this sometimes cold, cold world we live in..thank you for being true, for teaching me to be true (you know who you are). Once again i wonder why people are measured by the amount of money they have and not by the kind of person they are/can be. it's funny though isnt it?no matter how different we are, love is always there. it is. i believe it. so i guess, when i come to my crossroads, thats my path.my choice. (laugh and ridicule if you will but its 3.15 in the morning and this is all i got!)

g'nite people..choose well..

Kek See!!

went to the pasar malam last night. bought like 8 scrunchies/claws/rubberbands for like rm5 or something..malaysia is pretty amazing lah..cos you know how you go to other countries like singapore or australia or even london for that matter..they have laws and they actually follow them, know what i mean?so it brings me to think that we malaysians are like rebels of the free world like that..(got right,abit?)..its hard to explain lah but its like here, we have piracy, we have bribery, and thenn..there are our drivers..(that one alone should get us an award if there ever was a contest for "Patientest person during a traffic jam" or "Most skilled weaver between cars especially on highways") but honestly, i think it's brilliant..cos i totally hated driving in aussieland..it was like ok..you know here right lane means go fast, damn fast or superfast right?here, got a certain understanding one right?like people tail gate abit means they wanna overtake lah, then they flash you means they reeeally wanna overtake right?ok, in aussie..its different..they LOVE using their horns..any little bloody thing they horn..its like they panic abit because they follow every single road rule and they stop being creative, you know? and on the highways, there are like what, 4 to 5 lanes?all lanes will consist of people doing about 50 -60km/h...ON A HIGHWAY!!!!!(these memories get me all kek see, i tell you..:P)((for non-hokkiens, thats kek sei in kantonese))

ok..on another note..today i think i received about 9 smses from 9 different people..this may seem few to some, alot to others..but here's my question, when did typing replace talking?(please bear with me, this whole friendster experience gives me the heebie-geebies sometimes)or maybe there's an sms contest that i should know about?because MY GAWD MAN!!talk about culture shock coming back here...i mean, i can fully understand if people had to send the same message to multiple people but aiyoh!!pick up the damn phone once in a while lah before you forget how to dial someone's number..which is slowly happening thanks to bloody handphones..andd its not that im not grateful for new technology but i think im starting to forget my friend's voices..and smses are so bloody ambiguous you know? sms, msn, irc,icq, blogs..its like they're there to facilitate one into becoming a hermit!and i've seen it too!people stop knowing how to communicate face-to-face, shy guys become even shy-er for example,instead of asking her on a date why dont i just sms her?, girls start getting more paranoid (shit, why didnt he message back?why doesnt he like me, even when sometimes, there's nothing to sms back to!)and i would've been blissfully unaware of all this going on had it not been for a dear, sweet friend who told me, albeit politely but still with a little tinge of annoyance about my bad habit of not replying smses on time..but here's the thing,how does one know when to reply and when not to?cos it usually doesnt end with just one message, oh no...it drags baby...at those times,i'm thinking, wouldn't it just be easier to call and get "oi whats up?" "nothing much,just working" "wanna have lunch?" "ok, what time?" "1?" "ok,meet you at ..?" "ok chao" "chao" out of the way in 2 minutes on the phone compared to 6 messages or sometimes more because you didnt get the message on time so you've already had lunch, so you gotta apologise..aiyohhhhhh..kek see!

Laggard..

i have tried lah..like the Sarah Mclachlan song "tho ive tried, fallen, i have sunk so low..." but to no avail!!!what is this terrible yet magnetic pull to friendster?to blogging??my goodness....it makes me almost kinda miss being tech/net un-savvy because i NEVER had these problems back then..geez..i mean, i actually got excited about the fact that the new i-mac g5 is coming to our shores..i have more two point plugs/wires/extensions than i know what to do with and yet i'm keeping em..oh god whyyyyyyy?even shopping has lost its appeal..(my girl friends are disowning me as i speak..)..oh dear, is this new knowledge making me less shallow?i mean, whats next? enjoying conversations on how to build a computer and NOT being able to name the next r&b tune on the radio??help..

having a social life is different..slightly tiring in fact..by the way, a social life should not be misconstrued as having good friends whom one is able to chat with..very different..a social life happens when you least expect it..first you think,its just one party lah..whats the harm?so you go..oblivious to the fact that youre gonna meet new people who are going to have and who are nice enough to invite you to birthdays, promotions, weddings, engagements, brother's circumcision, you get the gist..five months later you realise you're out every weekend, telling different people the same line (i dont drink, no, really, i dont..) and that line will also be pretty much the extent of the conversation lah most of the time..and the worst part is?you dont know how NOT to go out anymore..sighhhhhhhh...really one..first came back from aussieland?totally satisfied with sitting at home watching sex and the city reruns you know?did it for a year actually....i'm not complaining about having a socail life tho, on the contrary, i respect and love the people who actually want to spend time with a recovering smoke-aholic dungufart!(thank you dearest dumplings..wahliao this one like academy award speech like that)...its just that i miss having friends over,you know?(living with parents dont allow for that so much.)by the way, because of you wonderful people i now have 6 smses in my phone with the same malay word in it..RANTAU!*grin from ear to ear*

played pool on friday..it's been a long time..it was GOOOOOD...went to a party last night thrown by the ever-charming tyler ng..it was also GOOODD..:P..tonight will be supporting a dear friend's brother who's gonig to be the next hitz.tv vj!!!we're going to give moral support lah..so please vote for andy..just type UVJANDY and send to 32888 because he's a good kid and also we should start supporting our malaysian talents lah..bands..support...drama..support..singing..support..(even if you have to wear earplugs..because how else will we improve?how will other countries respect us if we dont get it together ourselves?)fuck racism, support humanitism.


ooh janet's on with "thats the way love goes". that tune is sex..

in my brain:
- wisdom evades even the smartest people

- my back hurts

- cigarettes are evil..yeah, i gotta work on that one..

- people who die can now be turned into diamonds..really, read it the other day.

- my mother, person who carried me for 9 agonizing months, Director of her own agency, first graduate in her family, best friend, strongest,most beautiful, best dressed woman i know...is taking 2 hours to write an email.so cute lah i tell you (this is what happens when people have secretaries and choose to be net-illiterate) ((she threatens me with disownment if i dare tell anyone...sorry mommy, i need material to entertain my very bored friends...at least i didnt post the picture up!love you love you:P))

- Fire-flies.Kuala Selangor. want.to.go.

pictures on ty's party will be posted soon. i think ive got a fever.brain feels scattered. see, this is what happens when one acts younger than they are..sighhhhhh..

look around,you're not the only one..

so many people look inward, they think to themselves, why me?why not me? whats wrong with me?me, me me..that they forget to look past themselves for abit and just watch other people for a change. they try desperately to find themselves, they look for validation but meanwhile…its all about them. in my constant search for self-actualisation (Maslow's thingy) i tend to think about how many people i know. Like really knnoooww. without judgement. because i think i've come to a point where i want to take people as they are. good, bad, ugly. whether its one conversation or a hundred, whether its someone you see everyday or someone you're never going to see again. realising how many things i have taken for granted shock me to the core, how many things i am only now learning to be aware of?you're reading this when you should be calling up an old friend or someone that you've really wanted to speak to but just lost the guts/didnt care enough....just do something that makes you feel like you again..raw..open..honest. dont think,just do.life is fleeting and you dont need a heart attack to realise that.open your mind. go. do not be afraid.do not let your ego control you. do not let society dictate what you should be. be you. because at the end of the day, you answer to you. so go, now. prevent divorce, prevent insecurity, prevent yourself from getting into that rut. get out of your comfort zone.doesnt even have to be something big. tell your parents you love them, have sex in the backseat of a car, go have dinner alone, move out, move in, take a drive, smoke some green, get a tattoo,listen to that one song and turn it up, sing, dance, laugh, cry,change your mind, stop bitching, get on the net, tell someone you love them; its not the end of the world, its the beginning..i heard somewhere that we have more planets in the universe than grains of sand on all the beaches in our world..and you're busy thinking about you?think deeper, think bigger..

cars..so very much like their owners..

juan's car farts..ok, im done. sorry juannie!im still laughing!!its the most hilarious thing since the backstreet boys comeback!aiyoh...the car farts..literally a human fart!(oh god,tummy cramp)its just so amazing and you so totally have to be there to enjoy it cos it was like i was being polite cos i thought she farted and she was kinda quiet too..so we were just talking, pretending we didnt hear anything (actually, i was pretending, she knows but it didnt strike her at the time that people might think it was her farting)hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha...aiyoh, elaboration just takes away from the funniness lah..(actually, her amplifier causes the farting noise lah, but i think its awesome cool lah for a car to fart)

i reckon im beginning to appreciate honesty more and more because it is so seldom that one sees it.


eh, how to say region in malay ah?..sorry, its just that i've been bloody cracking my head over it cos i had to translate something..and don't say daerah or kawasan sekeliling cos both aren't appropriate(region in this sentence encompasses Malaysia and neighbouring countries)..(yeah, i know you're like groaning to yourself thinking "i dont care stef,whats it to me?" and you would be right except that if you do it a) you will be doing a good deed and b) you'll be a great Malaysian cos you know the language so well!)

oh crap..it's Sunday..

"Sundays are poisoned by the mere fact that the next day is Monday"

so i was cleaning my room today..have i told you guys how good the ergo-rapido is yet?that vacum cleaner should get numerous awards for sucking man..really..(oh, and i mean sucks up dust not how we young people use it in lingo as in "that sucks")it is amazing!!and its red so its very feminine, you know?doesnt look like other vacum cleaners that are static and black in colour..:P..its like wahliao..an it's one of those handheld ones so you can totally clean your car with it too?not only that, but for an additional 200 bucks you can get the canggih big ass mother of a vacum to fit your little one in it! (yes, i am aware that im talking about a vacum cleaner..just let me be lah ok?)

im confused about the whole dating game..cos it IS a game, apparently..a huge one.. been talking to friends about it and its like...OH MY GAWD!!some of the stuff that came out i couldnt believe!i mean, i know about the basic stuff lah yah like a guy worth his salt should bloody well offer to pay on a first date lah..i mean come on lah right?then the girl, if she's worth her salt should also offer to pay, ya know?cos its the 21st century lah...but stuff like he's gotta have nice hair..what the hell is that??or she's gotta maintain her weight at exactly 110 pounds,no more no less..(true story, i kid you not)what the f##$? don't people care about personality anymore?(actually, i should be asking dont people HAVE personality anymore???)but i've also heard some cute ones lah like, if the guy likes you then he'll wanna sit directly opposite you cos he wants to have direct eyecontact..never knew that..(and i know im breaking the cardinal rule of dating by writing about all these secrets of dating but im curious lah..)and has dating changed??cos i mean, i havent been on the scene for awhile so im just wondering, has it?like, how does a girl know that she's liked by someone?or how does a guy,for that matter?is that why everyone plays the game?and when someone gets tired of playing the game and gives up first, thats it?man, it sounds exhausting...someone should totally make up rules man..like 1st date wont be called a date,its just a friend thing..you go out..talk abit..catch a movie and then go home..then the guy, if he's a gentleman should wait for approximately 1 and a half days to call..(to save his ego and for her to worry abit) then when he does and if he does wanna go out with her again,ask her.sincerely.no maybes, no see howlah.just ask.becos she might be impressed and say yes.because you are being sincere.because if she has half a brain she will know how hard it was for you to lay it on the line. and that is being a man. if you are being wishy washy then its gonna fuck with her mind and shes gonna be wishy washy too. ok, then the whole good night kiss thing (depends on the two individuals, how horny they are, their personalities,etc). Men, if youve got a pair, just kiss her.(Thats a sure fire way of knowing if she like you back). if you're not ready then nevermind, give her a hug which is also kind of a good way to judge if a girl likes you.if she hugs you like shes hugging a wet fish then sorrylah..but if she pulls you in for like, 2-3 seconds, then you're golden.(this does not apply to girls you've been frends with for a long time..that one different story..)

I guess at the end of the day, you've got to just keep your sense of humour about you lah, you know?cos thats whats so fucking amazing about life right?not taking everything so seriously?opening your mind to new crazy possibilities?if not then?become a one-track mind?make money and die?marry the first person you see and die?can you hear the sheep baaa-ing?

"You should make a point of trying everything in life once..except incest and folk-dancing"..Anonymous.

Brilliant Day To Be Alive, Isn't It?

i've been wearing fake extension nails for the past week..i have no idea how girls manage to keep their nails long..they must some sort of incredibly deft or gentle or good with their hands or something lah..(either that or they dont work and they're exeptionally vain!)but seriously..my gawd!!with long nails, i discovered i couldnt dial a person's number on my phone..seriously couldnt..tried and tried..its like what the hell?!!cannot press with your finger tip because the nail in front stretches out and hits another number..then you try to press with the nail and its like not strong enough/painful cos its SUPERGLUED to your real nail..sighhhhhhh...(there were also other things that one does with a finger that one cannot with extension nails..giggle..eh please ah..no dirty thoughts..)

i just learnt this new theory from me mom last night..apparently everything can be sorted out with this equation lah..roughly..its the 20%/ 80% ratio thingy..so basically, you wear 20% of your clothes 80% of the time...something like that lah..and it can be applied to like, anything..80% of the country's wealth comes from 20% of the population?(i'm no darwin, please keep in mind..) but its quite choon eh? sooo..basically applying that to my life its like..20% of guys that i date are jerks 80% of the time..hmmm,sounds about right...:P

cigarrette update - my mamak fella was so cute yesterday..he was like "eh, dah lama tak beli rokok ah?sedang quit ah?macam mana?" and i thought that was incredibly cool of him to like try and motivate me even though the poor dear would be losing RM 7 a day from me..maybe i should not deprive him of his lifelihood lah..i mean the poor fella most probably has starving kids in india right??and RM 7 to us here in malaysia is like,practically change,coins,parking,right?and to him in india..i mean..rm7 can most proobably get like, 5-star hotel lah, lobster dinner and a maid right?(this is you entering a crazed smoker's psyche..)
(Note: Comments above are not meant to be derogaratory to India or the people living there.)

ya know, i've been meeting some incredibly interesting people lately..and..oh shit..work beckons..talk later kay?

The 5 phases of getting over this..

Nope, not heartbreak..smoking.

One and a half days; 36 agonizing hours; taking a trip, watching a band gig, going shopping, getting a manicure/pedicure, washing my hair,chewing gum, walking fast, walking slow, typing, eating, eating somemore, chewing gum, writing, working, vacuming,gum, phonecalls, more phonecalls, smses, gum, watching movies, watching f.r.i.e.n.d.s, not watching anything, yoga, listening to jack,more gum, mamak, listening to the killers, talking to parents,blueberry gum, driving, working, sleep.....no ciggarettes.......

see, heartbreak you can get over..no worries..you cry, you go on rebound, you've got friends, its all good..pretty soon you're back on your feet believing that true love really IS out there again..but quitting cigarettes? its all you baby! theres only gum..(pharmaceuticals want you to think that patches work but its bull shit..)and a whole lot of numbness...for you people who have like done it..you've actually fucking quit..thats awesome man..kudos..but you guys who havent..DON'T. and for you people who are like sitting there smugly going "well, why did you take up such a filthy, disgusting habit in the first place you idiot?", all i have to say is "screw you..like you're perfect?"

ok,sorry for getting all huffy. mood swings i guess..wanna know what makes it infinitely much worse?when the fucker who broke your heart calls..(please bear with me..or stop reading cos yeah, i know..its getting all depressive..i can't stand me either right now..but i gotta type cos its lunch time and thats usually when i become puff-mommy lah..o gawd,forgive the lame remarks as well..)

today in the news..some guy in dubai gets 3 months jail for sexually harassing a camel...guess even animals got their problems..

tao pok balls on a stick - old chang kee curry puff shop?SOOOO GOOOD!ooh, and their curry puffs now have egg again!

just wondering..has anyone got a proper copy of die hard 3?if got, borrow can??cos i've purchased 2 copies before and they were both blurry..so pleaseeee?

girls, we're going dancing this weekend..