Has anyone ever gotten tracted?

Cos.. y'know... people get DIS-tracted....

So. Two-Four. 2 dozen. A score and four as the great Abraham Lincoln would say. A new number for the next 365 days of my life..how will i make it count?(pun fully intended)

on the actual day of reckoning, i sat on my couch and watched crap tv. Naked. No, i'm not some kinda hippie, i just figured its my bloody birthday and i came out this way so why not at least try to regain some of that peace/freedom/innocence? And you know what?it was awesome..just that if you do decide to try it..dont let cigarette ash come anywhere near you..trust me. Also, make sure you live alone and that the blinds are closed alright?

See, the thing is..i wanted for just one day to shut out, escape and forget about the damn f-word. FEAR. Which i see wayyy too much of in people's eyes..in my eyes sometimes..and i do not like it. Some of the more common justifiable fears usually involve going into something new and unknown like starting a new business, beginning on a new project, telling your parents certain things they might not want to hear, facing death, starting a family, getting divorced, admitting you were wrong..the last one is really tough..

Then come the un-justifiable fears..the ones you cannot explain and even if you did, would sound bloody ridiculous...ghosts under your bed, your time-clock is running out so you MUST get married and have babies galore, you've been with her/him for so many years now, you've lost the passion but hey better stick with her/him lah rather than be ALONE...

If you have fear of the latter constantly bugging you then i suggest you jump now. Reckon it'll be easier than having to go thru your life having no balls and worse..being unhappy..life is not as long as you think its gonna be y'know..in fact,i've met some people who are already dead..their creativity and imagination has been shot to hell by their organisations telling them exactly what to do and how to do it, their once great passion for something/someone they love is gone and all that's left is the delusion that they've done everything that society tells them is right so it MUST be right.

sometimes, maybe you just gotta get off that couch,put your clothes back on and face those damn ghosts under your bed.Chances are, once you do that, they won't be haunting you anymore...

Oh yeah, nearly forgot..

Yes, yes..it's a terrible marketing ploy to get people to spend exorbitant amounts of cash on wilted flowers and melted chocolates but what the hell eh?the hopeless romantic in me (whatever little is left) gives in..happy V-Day people!!

LOOOONGGGG OVERDUE PICTURES ARE UP!!

dearest madammes e messieurs,

was going thru my camera last night and i realise there are alot of overdue pictures i owe people so without further ado, here they are..

LYNN'S SUMMER BREAK





ABBY'S B'DAY



CNY-KUACH'S HSE

we were such cam whores that day lah i tell you..




hamming it up for the camera!


his face turned to this when we mentioned his "tak nak" ad!i swear, cant go anywhere without seeing his billboards(look below)



JUAN'S FREE MANI/PEDI

that's juan....


....and those are her nails!


ANDY'S HOMECOMING

THINGS I LEARNT DURING CHINESE NEW YEAR...

-Year Of Dog. Supposedly my lunar year. Keep waiting for fabulous things to happen. So far, ok onli lah...mebbe becos not yeat birthday.Mebbe birthday come, luck oso come.

- Stress Bad - Holiday Good.

-Moving out from parents' house on Chinese New Year Bad. Ang pow become smaller. Guilt increase becos Chinese New Year is time of year where all Chinese become extra filial to parents.

- Friends come back from overseas Good. Extremely fabulous actually. Party much. Eat much. Gamble much.

- Found out am crap at gambling at anything except pokies. Put money, press button. Woohoo.

- Realise gym should not just be place to donate portion of salary. Should actually go.

- Harith Iskandar very funny man. Actor's Studio wonderful place.

- Fish very entertaining. Just got a tank. I look at the tank and i feel like god. very cheap thrill.

- Some Malaysians should lighten up..should strive to get sense of humour back. If not, life very scary. Can get heart attack and die.

- Realise friends are family one chooses. I intend to choose very carefully. (by the way, if im your friend then this is way overdue: love you babe/dude!)

- Pressure to get married suddenly increases when one graduates?WHYYYYYYYYYYY???is there a rule somewhere that once you get one piece of paper you gotta go out there and get another one???WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???

if you had a choice between being incredibly famous and earning ok money or earning heaps of money while still maintaining your anonimity, which would you pick?

Forwarded Mail.

Today I got this in the mail. It made me cry. I hope you do too.

What would you do? You make the choice! Don't look
> for a punch line; There
> isn't one! Read it anyway. My question to all of
> you is: Would you
> have made the same choice?
>
> At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves
> learning disabled children,
> the father of one of the students delivered a speech
> that would never be
> forgotten by all who attended.
>
>
> After extolling the school and its dedicated staff,
> he offered a question:
>
> "When not interfered with by outside influences,
> everything nature does is
> done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn
> things as other
> children do. He cannot understand things as other
> children do. Where is the
> natural order of things in my son?"
>
> The audience was stilled by the query. The father
> continued. "I believe,
> that when a child like Shay, physically and
> mentally handicapped comes into
> the world, an opportunity to realize true human
> nature presents itself, and
> it comes, in the way other people treat that
> child."
>
>
>
> Then he told the following story:
>
> Shay and his father had walked past a park where
> some boys Shay knew were
> playing baseball.
>
>
>
> Shay asked,"Do you think they'll let me play?"
>
> Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not
> want someone like Shay on
> their team, but the father also understood that if
> his son were
> allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed
> sense of belonging and some
> confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his
> handicaps.
>
> Shay's father approached one of the boys on the
> field and asked if Shay
> could play, not expecting much. The boy looked
> around for guidance
> and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is
> in the eighth inning. I
> guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him
> in to bat in the ninth
> inning."
>
> Shay struggled over to the team's bench put on a
> team shirt with a broad
> smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and
> warmth in his
> heart.
>
> The boys saw the father's joy at his son being
> accepted. In the bottom of
> the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but
> was still
> behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning,
> Shay put on a glove and
> played in the right field.
>
> Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously
> ecstatic just to be in
> the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear
> as his father
> waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the
> ninth inning, Shay's team
> scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases
> loaded, the potential
> winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to
> be next at bat. At this
> juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their
> chance to win the game?
>
>
>
> Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew
> that a hit was all but
> impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold
> the bat properly, much
> less connect with the ball.
>
> However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the
> pitcher, recognizing the other
> team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's
> life,
> moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so
> Shay could at least be
> able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay
> swung clumsily and
> missed.
> The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss
> the ball softly towards
> Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball
> and hit a slow
> ground ball right back to the pitcher.
>
> The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked
> up the soft grounder and
> could have easily thrown the ball to the first
> baseman. Shay
> would have been out and that would have been the end
> of the game. Instead,
> the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of
> the first baseman, out of
> reach of all team mates.
>
> Everyone from the stands and both teams started
> yelling, "Shay, run to
> first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay
> ever ran that far
> but made it to first base. He scampered down the
> baseline, wide-eyed and
> startled.
>
> Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"
> Catching his breath, Shay
> awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and
> struggling to make
> it to second base.
>
> By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the
> right fielder had the
> ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a
> chance to be the
> hero for his team for the first time. He could
> have thrown the ball to the
> second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the
> pitcher's
> intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball
> high and far over the
> third-baseman's head.
>
> Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the
> runners ahead of him circled
> the bases toward home. All were screaming, "Shay,
> Shay, Shay, all
> the Way Shay"
>
> Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran
> to help him and turned
> him in the direction of third base, and shouted,
> "Run to third!
> Shay, run to third" As Shay rounded third, the boys
> from both teams and
> those watching were on their feet were screaming,
> "Shay, run home! Shay
> ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered
> as the hero who hit the
> "grand slam" and won the game for his team.
>
> That day, said the father softly with tears now
> rolling down his face, the
> boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true
> love and humanity
> into this world.
>
> Shay didn't make it to another summer and died that
> winter, having never
> forgotten being the hero and making his Father so
> happy and coming
> home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her
> little hero of the day!
>
> AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY:
>
> We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail
> without a second thought,
> but when it comes to sending messages about life
> choices, people think twice
> about sharing. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene
> pass
> freely through cyberspace, but public discussion
> about decency is too often
> suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

Basically I'm supposed to forward the email but i reckon if its here, maybe one person might read it before automatically deleting. i refuse to believe Malaysians are becoming colder, more kiasu, more narrow, more selfish, losing our moral fibre, losing our creativity (no, not the kind you go to uni for..im talking about common sense, the will to think!), losing our passion and not assuming responsibility for our actions even though the evidence points to the contrary. We just gotta be reminded every once in awhile, so here ya go...WAKE UP!!!!!!

Man's Best Friend..

HAPPPYYYYYYY BELATEDDDDD NEWWW YEARRRR!!!Ahhh the year of the dog is upon us..you know what this means right?more bitching, people doing it doggy style, girls getting bigger puppies..heyyyyy, waitaminute..d'ya kinda realise that everything dog-related is considered crude or derogatory?(shit,im born in the bloody year of the dog....bloody chinese calendar..silly mummble mumble...)

was in penang for the new years..gurney drive hawkers have moved to a cemetery plot.yup.kid you not. so now instead of enjoying your food sitting by the sea, you're kinda sitting by what the sea sometimes washes up...

A funny thought struck me as i was using the public toilet at bidor on the way to penang..(yeah i know, what the hell?!!)so anyways, it occured to me that i was paranoid of public toilets..not because of the terrible stench that emanates or anything but because of the sticky doors..you know how you sometimes go to the mamak or kopitiam and the bloody toilet doors are ALLLLLways made out of cheap wood thats splintering and doesnt really fit properly?then you try to open it and it doesnt open?you feel my pain right?:P..so yeah.. i remember when this fear first seized me.. i was about 10 i think, in Victoria Station with family and extended family and the toilets in there used to be really awkward and sticky?so yalah..yours truly, stuck in there for like a half hour,scared shitless..so yeah..public toilets...brrrr..they bring a chill to my spine..

A complete year lasts for 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes and 45 seconds..good to know..

okay, no more stories to tell..well, actually there are..but they arent interesting..so here, ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure...annoying things to know and doooo!!!(these are the things i resort to whenever the stress gets to me and i get a little loopy!enjoyness!!)

THIS TEST IS HILARIOUS- DO IT DO IT!!!


Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.


12 THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU DIDN’T KNOW.

1. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

2. A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

3. A shrimp's heart is in its head.

4. In a study of 200,000 ostriches, over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand.

5. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

6. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

7. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

8. Horses can't vomit.

9. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

10. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. And, if you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

11. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

12. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

Does the umbilical cord EVER get cut?

I believe that at a certain point in all of our lives, we have that ONE HUGE pointless argument with our parents. That argument might be a manifestation of pent up frustration with them over the years or it could be a way of breaking free from them, a start to forming our own opinion that differs from theirs. Or perhaps it has never happened to you, either because you have exceptionally cool parents or you've never had a differing opinion from them.(by the way, if you're in the latter category then i feel immense sadness for you)Usually, this argument happens in your teenage years and by the time you reach adulthood, your parents generally give in and realise you're your own person. No such luck for me, so i'm venting my frustrations online.

I bring up this topic of discussion because after being overseas, surviving alone, graduating, being responsible, working almost immediately, dealing with the most difficult clients and situations at work, overcoming the most pretentious people, taking on the traffic jams, bird flu, dengue and other stresses of each day...we come home to our parents and still get intimidated by them. We of course deny like hell that we ever want their approval, but please lah, whether you realise it or not, if you dont get it, it does affect you. And they have that tremendous super power that they use over you every once in awhile..the Power Of Guilt; "I carried you in my womb for 9 months and you're telling me you won't come with me to Aunty Mary's cousin's husband's sister's wedding?!!" and if you try to argue with that, then that's it lah..hangus terbakar man...no talking for weeks..walking on eggshells all the time...man, i so need to move out.

A really good friend brought up that maybe parents don't quite understand what we go through because they didn't have as much stress as we do these days. My take on it is that as they get older they just get clingier. See, guilt..because you start thinking that aiyah, they're getting old already so better spend time with them before they konk off...aiyoohhhh..

and so, with that, i bid you all a Happy New Year as i won't be here..i'll be in Penang.. ( at Aunty Mary's cousin's husband's sister's wedding)sighhhhhhhhhh...drink some champagne, watch the fireworks and make a resolution for me, kay?

Love, hugs and kisses for 2005.

Parties, pearls, polvoron and plenty of phamily in Phillipines!!

Merry Belated Christmas Everybody!!!Just got back from Manila..i swear MAS service is just going from bad to worse!Bloody Boeing 737 only had 2 terrribly maintained toilets for something like 144 passengers!thats crazy!!and in 4 hours i had the time to reflect on what crap food they serve on planes..(they call it beef, but it totally looks and tastes like tin cans of dog food..)

so how was your season of brotherly love and good tidings,etc,etc?Manila was really brilliant because it was a time to be with almost my entire over-achieving family-mom's side. We have this little tradition because my mom has got like 9 brothers and sisters so every year we take turns in hosting christmas..last year was bali, this year, it's mabuhay!


tried to stop myself, but the greed just surfaced from looking at those bright, colourful packages..


this was taken on the first night we were there, i've never seen anythnig like it..its like a club but they've got these D.I.'s (dance instructors) who come up to you and teach you to ballroom dance!thats me dancing with my very sporting aunt..she soon abandoned me for a very good-looking (albeit gay-suspect) D.I.


cosuins just grow so quickly..they just bloody tower over me man!


christmas eve eve - at my youngest aunt's home..it's an architect's dream..and to add to that my uncle's a sculptor so his pieces give an added oomph to the place as well..it's not ostentatious or grand but it really has its charm..


one of my favourite pieces..when you look at it from different angles, you see different images..its very cool..


manila skyline from a distance-minus traffic jam and smog.


christmas eve - i wore white to try and look angelic..don't think it worked though.


that's brindel..he's an awesome dog..some people think he's a cat though..poor thing..


brindel on cushion. he reminds me of a cartoon dog cos his face just makes you laugh!

manila hasn't changed in 8 years..there are alot of buildings un-finished due to corruption or complication or some other unrest going on in the country..(i guess when the current president rigs her own election, you kinda know the country's on the downturn)..what affected me the most was seeing little kids run around the streets knocking on car windows begging for money or selling trinkets for the fewest of pesos (the traffic is incredibly congested in manila, worse than in bangkok so it's conducive for things like that to go on)and it just got me thinking about luck. I mean, one twist, one little iota of a glitch (or whatever you wanna call it) in this huge universe or fate or karma or again, whatever you wanna call it...and it could've been me on that street..or you..correct?instead im sitting in a b.m.w x5 being chaufffeured to my uncle's home by his driver to two maids (help is cheap in the phillipines)..jesus fucking christ...

annnyways..other than that, the pearls over there are really beautiful..apparently the phillipines has got the nicest golden pearls, tahiti has got the best black pearls and australia has got the nicest white pearls..it would've been so nice if my girls were with me,i'm sure they would've gone crazy!!

polvoron is super yummy!!i dont really know how to describe it but its ingredients are: sugar, butter AND margarine, (i know..its sooo badd..but its soooo goood)flour and some other fattening stuff and they come in flavours like cookies and cream, cashew and rice krispies..ok, they're basically like powdery cookies that melt in your mouth..i brought back some so i'll let you try when i next see you kay?

ROCK THE WORLD!!!

It was such an amazing experience, I would definitely almost put it up there with the Big Day Out or Party in The Park or even Byron Bay's Jazz and Blues Festival..the vibe was amazing..can't believe i had to leave early cos of my stupid flu!




thats dino, kuachee, unknown fellow, siva,yuri and azrul


thats only a section of the people who were there..


so beautiful aren't they?jess, wen fung (oh gawd,did i spell it right?), syarizad and syareza


i really like this shot..reckon it looks abit abstrack-arty like..

There are more pictures but im too busy listening to an awesome album right now by this band called Ben's Bitches..they are fantastic, in my opinion..even if you take away the profanities and constant sexual innuendos, they're still brilliant for the thought they put into their music..naturally, knowing our country and its stand on censorship, you can't find their album in any ol' music store..sighhh..best RM5 i've ever spent.

DISCLAIMER - This in no way conflicts with my personal sentiments/great admiration/much respect for another local band, lovingly known as Frequency Cannon.Their music is the best, they rule all, they are kings.:P

Parents, Technology - Two words that should NOT be in the same sentence.

i've been sick..no no, not the mental kind in the head that you guys know and love me for..but physically sick..apparently its a virus infection (fever lah fever) and it's been 4 days and 7 hours at last count. 4 days and 7 hours of sitting at home doing absolutely nothing. Well, actually not totally nothing..does taking 3 different types of antibiotics,noticing the cracks in your ceilnig and drinking copius amounts of water count?but that is NOTHING in comparison to taking 3 different types of antibiotics, drinking copious amounts of water,cracks,ceiling, AND having to listen to your parents play with their new phones!(yalah, i tried to be good daughter so bought phones for them ((refer to last post on senseless christmas spending)))so, here i am, second day of experiencing the highest fever mankind has ever seen, thinking getting sick is kind of a good way of pontenging work when "bbrrringg brrring"..my phone rings..its my dad..who is in the living room by the way..and he wants to tell me thats he's figured out how to send pictures. so ok, i think to myself, he's just excited, no worries..so basically every ten minutes of every waking moment of the fella's life, he's callinglah, messaging lah...you understand my serious predicament..(and lets not even go to how mom is handling HER new toy..sighhhh..)no amount of drugs man..trust me, i've thought of that..(i love you mom and dad, im just grumpylah)

ok, sleep now..tired,dreamy-like..got ROCK THE WORLD tomorrow!!wanna go?

WELCOME!!!

after surviving blank pages, glitches,glotches,glutches and a whole lot of panic with the friendster blog, i've decided to be brave..i decided..to start..a REAL blog!!oooohhhhh,scary shit man..i mean, to write stuff down in friendster is one thing but to actually start a blog that annnyone can see?ooohhhhhh...pressure,pressure...(i have no idea if anyone even reads my stuff, i really doubt it but if you do, thank you thank you..gawd knows what possessed you,thank you thank you somemore..beeg beeg kisses for you...)

it's like graduating man..like Dead Poet's Society when Robin Williams says inspiring things to his class and it made you want to well up and cry?(ok, so i cant excatly remember what it is he said, but it was damn "kam tong" lah, y'know?)so thats how i feel with this blog..(yes, cheap thrill i know, but thrill nonetheless..)

i loooooveeee the midnight pasar malam at uptown..have you guys been?its incredible..

being a gal who goes through about 30 magazines a month for work (can be a perk, can be a pain..)i came across the "le prestige" magazine the other day..it was given to me and have you seen that damn thing??my gawd man!you give to me now also i dont want!even the name..le prestige..it's the funniest thing i tell you.. it takes every stereotype and makes it true..from the wannabe name (le prestige,are you serious?)to the wannabe models (many who are not aesthetically pleasing to the eyes im afraid, since they mostly consist of datins, tengkus, puan sris who think they are models.)nothing against them but please, when you decide to pose for a magazine with the name "le prestige" and ya look like you've got at least 20 botox injections in your face, ya gotta know you're gonna face SOME kinda lashback!it's hilarious and i could not stop laughing because despite the shallowness of the silly thing, i gotta give the magazine credit..i mean, its a brilliant marketing strategy,no?shoot a whole magazine full of vain people at different events, then sell it to them?

Question : Do you think we do new, different things in the same environment or d'ya reckon we do the same old things in different environments?

soulmates and other stuff..

over the years of being an ear to friends, this subject has popped up quite abit..does it exist?karma, fate, predestined souls meant to be together?personally, no, i do not believe that soulmates exist.i believe that two people work very hard when they keep their relationship alive and kicking. i believe it takes alot of understanding, trust, conviction, humour, communication and sometimes, mind-blowing sex. i believe that sometimes when you love someone, your ego needs to take a backseat. i believe that its ok to fight, but its even better to make up....so no, i guess i dont believe in the universe making the decision of who i'm supposed to be in love with..i do however believe in me. (and you..jomsolat :P)

shit man, the season of twinkly lights and big giant plastic trees are upon us again..let the senseless shopping begin!!went to one-u on saturday and its unbelievable how many women were in bodyshop..buying nice smelling thingys for their so-and-sos..aiyohhhhhhh...didja know that the body shop makes all their profit during christmas and new year?i happen to know that little fact because i recall my days working as a poor underpaid cashier girl there..(see, private skool kids work!)
but i digress..so, having seen these women jostling each other to get to that lassst oceanus gift pack worth 69.80 but marked down to 69.70, i made a resolution this year to not get gifts..no sir..not one!its gonna be money or gift vouchers..call me cold and unfeeling but i mean, come onlah..when was the last chrissy present you actually enjoyed??ah see?cannot remember right?so dont come and throw that guilty blanket on me by saying ive lost the spirit of christmas lah and its the thought that counts lah..bull bloody shit..if the thought was there, then the present should be good!:P..oklah, i'll wrap the bloody voucher lah ok?that'll make it seem more pressie like,no? (eh, for those of you condemning me to hell right now, please ah..youre lucky youre gonna get presents ok?)

went to an indian wedding last weekend, it was beautiful...the saris were gorgeous, the bride was ravishing in gold and the groom was so smart in his tux.see, i had the misconception that indian weddings were long winded and traditional and this one was an arranged marriage so i thought, thats it lah..there goes my night man..especially since the bride and groom are in advertising and god knows if its one thing advertising people do is talk..but it turned out so different..it was such a beautiful experience, the bridesmaids were stewardesses..(boys, dont worry, i'll get the pictures up!) and everything went really quickly once it got started..not like chinese weddings lah you know,where the food comes one course by one course and you got the damn karaoke machine waiting ominously in the background just bidding its time to make its appearance...so yeah, i reckon it was great because the couple managed to gel their traditional indian customs with their modern influences so tastefully..to nav and mala..congrats darlings!!you dont have to be on each other's wavelength all the time to make your relationship work, you just have to be able to ride each other's waves...

Me?Judge?NEVER!

yeah..right.cos we all do y'know..we look at someone, we form an assumption.it might be fleeting, it might last for years..but its there..judgement. In a city where everyone's a little bit colder and the weather's a little bit warmer, where everything moves a little faster and our minds are filled with constant pressures, i guess its not out of the ordinary that we also learn to figure people out quicker.and along with that comes the dreaded j-word.which leads to insecurity. which leads to lack of self-conviction.which lead to a hell of alot of people worrying about what other people think of them instead of just being themselves which then leads on to more judgement.(of course,this wouldnt relate to any one of you reading this because you're such a together person right?:P)

i guess all that judgement and whatever we do with it eventually boils down to what we think of ourselves,how tough we are on ourselves..after all, we are our own worst critics,no? i reckon that although it might be human nature to judge, it is also human nature to change...thats the beauty of life, you evolve..and your final judgement only comes,well,when you're wormfood i suppose..and by then people only say nice things about you anyways (i mean,who the hell disses a dead person?)

so i'd like to think that my jury of peers are still out cos i'm gonna give them one helluva court case..

that blasted alarm clock's back!

the 2005 Durex Global Sex Survey says that 44% of Malaysians like having sex in the toilet. are you fucking kidding me?thats where you do no.2 for heaven's sakes!not to mention you could slip on the wet tiles and break your back...and the bathtub??pulllease..have you seen malaysian bath tubs??its not like in the movies where its like all bath petals and you can fit in two lesbians and a tarzan look-alike..its narrow, its hard and you could drown and furthermore with all the bloody bubbles who the hell can tell who's bits are whose..confusing lah!!!

ok..so how was your long hols?good?i'd like to label mine as "very lemony-snickett" because last week held an unexpected series of events which even if i wanted to share, i cant because i cannot for the life of me remember all of them, it was good to be able to pause for awhile..do remember a fabulous pool party thrown by two fabulous people though..and it's not very often that you go to a party and feel completely comfortable, y'know?and they were such gracious hosts..they let you be but they also are attentive,you know?..it was good lah..hopefully they'll send me pics then can put them up...heheh..hint hint..

i watched ju-on and dark water..brave or what?hero or what??oklah..i'll stop but its just that im quite proud lah cos i never ever ever ever ever ever watch frigtening movies..ever..and i really hate it when i end up freaking my friends out by the end of the night with my long hair??every time, sure happen one!its like everyone will be watching and some smart alec will go.."eh ling/stef, your hair like quite scary hoh??" nudge nudge, point point..(girlfriends with long hair, you know what i'm talknig about yes?)like im not scared enough of the movie, you gotta get me scared of myself???aiyohhhhh...:P

my gawd..i'm writing an article on saving money..and i can't even ask you lot to help because apparently,in some research thingy, it says 90% of young people between the ages of 18-34 are broke..is this true??are we taking the magic of plastic for granted??i hope not..annnyyways, the article requires me to throw in some tips for stretching your ringgit i.e. mamak instead of starbucks...so if you've got any good ones i havent heard of, drop me a line..pleeeeaseee..merci mercii..

by the way, those of you who are interested, here's the rest of the survey..

7% at clubs
4% in alleyways
38% in cars
3% in public transport
10% at the beach
6% in schools
10% in front of cameras
6% in gardens
8% at parties
15% at work
12% in parks
24% in parents' bedroom
2% in aeroplanes

wow..malaysians are getting it on..finally!!i reckon the list still leaves out alot though, but thats for another time and place..*wink*..

..You only live once..make it count..

Crossroads..

cant sleep..been swamped with work lately and tonight its just been this one thought..pounding pounding...choices..

we make em every day..you choose, i choose, i believe even ewan mcgregor said something about choices in a li'l movie called trainspotting didnt he?..heterosexuality, homosexuality, abortion, death, virginity, divorce, marriage, knowledge,success..to some it might seem controversial, to some just words and others might not even care..to me..they are personal..they are personal because i have either recently or not-so-recently met these people, pondered these topics as might have you..whether in depth or just in passing..

i have friends who have chosen either just one or more of the above and i never thought about it much before because naturally being human makes one a little more self involved than one would like to think one is....but thinking about it makes me realise how much respect and love i have for these people..for making that choice. whatever choice it may be. to my dear friends who arent out of the closet, who hasn't done "it", who gave up a part of you, thank you for helping me understand, for fucking killing my stereotypes, for allowing me to see your courage, for making me see this whole new world..for putting up with the dirty looks and assumptions and shallowness of this sometimes cold, cold world we live in..thank you for being true, for teaching me to be true (you know who you are). Once again i wonder why people are measured by the amount of money they have and not by the kind of person they are/can be. it's funny though isnt it?no matter how different we are, love is always there. it is. i believe it. so i guess, when i come to my crossroads, thats my path.my choice. (laugh and ridicule if you will but its 3.15 in the morning and this is all i got!)

g'nite people..choose well..

Kek See!!

went to the pasar malam last night. bought like 8 scrunchies/claws/rubberbands for like rm5 or something..malaysia is pretty amazing lah..cos you know how you go to other countries like singapore or australia or even london for that matter..they have laws and they actually follow them, know what i mean?so it brings me to think that we malaysians are like rebels of the free world like that..(got right,abit?)..its hard to explain lah but its like here, we have piracy, we have bribery, and thenn..there are our drivers..(that one alone should get us an award if there ever was a contest for "Patientest person during a traffic jam" or "Most skilled weaver between cars especially on highways") but honestly, i think it's brilliant..cos i totally hated driving in aussieland..it was like ok..you know here right lane means go fast, damn fast or superfast right?here, got a certain understanding one right?like people tail gate abit means they wanna overtake lah, then they flash you means they reeeally wanna overtake right?ok, in aussie..its different..they LOVE using their horns..any little bloody thing they horn..its like they panic abit because they follow every single road rule and they stop being creative, you know? and on the highways, there are like what, 4 to 5 lanes?all lanes will consist of people doing about 50 -60km/h...ON A HIGHWAY!!!!!(these memories get me all kek see, i tell you..:P)((for non-hokkiens, thats kek sei in kantonese))

ok..on another note..today i think i received about 9 smses from 9 different people..this may seem few to some, alot to others..but here's my question, when did typing replace talking?(please bear with me, this whole friendster experience gives me the heebie-geebies sometimes)or maybe there's an sms contest that i should know about?because MY GAWD MAN!!talk about culture shock coming back here...i mean, i can fully understand if people had to send the same message to multiple people but aiyoh!!pick up the damn phone once in a while lah before you forget how to dial someone's number..which is slowly happening thanks to bloody handphones..andd its not that im not grateful for new technology but i think im starting to forget my friend's voices..and smses are so bloody ambiguous you know? sms, msn, irc,icq, blogs..its like they're there to facilitate one into becoming a hermit!and i've seen it too!people stop knowing how to communicate face-to-face, shy guys become even shy-er for example,instead of asking her on a date why dont i just sms her?, girls start getting more paranoid (shit, why didnt he message back?why doesnt he like me, even when sometimes, there's nothing to sms back to!)and i would've been blissfully unaware of all this going on had it not been for a dear, sweet friend who told me, albeit politely but still with a little tinge of annoyance about my bad habit of not replying smses on time..but here's the thing,how does one know when to reply and when not to?cos it usually doesnt end with just one message, oh no...it drags baby...at those times,i'm thinking, wouldn't it just be easier to call and get "oi whats up?" "nothing much,just working" "wanna have lunch?" "ok, what time?" "1?" "ok,meet you at ..?" "ok chao" "chao" out of the way in 2 minutes on the phone compared to 6 messages or sometimes more because you didnt get the message on time so you've already had lunch, so you gotta apologise..aiyohhhhhh..kek see!

Laggard..

i have tried lah..like the Sarah Mclachlan song "tho ive tried, fallen, i have sunk so low..." but to no avail!!!what is this terrible yet magnetic pull to friendster?to blogging??my goodness....it makes me almost kinda miss being tech/net un-savvy because i NEVER had these problems back then..geez..i mean, i actually got excited about the fact that the new i-mac g5 is coming to our shores..i have more two point plugs/wires/extensions than i know what to do with and yet i'm keeping em..oh god whyyyyyyy?even shopping has lost its appeal..(my girl friends are disowning me as i speak..)..oh dear, is this new knowledge making me less shallow?i mean, whats next? enjoying conversations on how to build a computer and NOT being able to name the next r&b tune on the radio??help..

having a social life is different..slightly tiring in fact..by the way, a social life should not be misconstrued as having good friends whom one is able to chat with..very different..a social life happens when you least expect it..first you think,its just one party lah..whats the harm?so you go..oblivious to the fact that youre gonna meet new people who are going to have and who are nice enough to invite you to birthdays, promotions, weddings, engagements, brother's circumcision, you get the gist..five months later you realise you're out every weekend, telling different people the same line (i dont drink, no, really, i dont..) and that line will also be pretty much the extent of the conversation lah most of the time..and the worst part is?you dont know how NOT to go out anymore..sighhhhhhhh...really one..first came back from aussieland?totally satisfied with sitting at home watching sex and the city reruns you know?did it for a year actually....i'm not complaining about having a socail life tho, on the contrary, i respect and love the people who actually want to spend time with a recovering smoke-aholic dungufart!(thank you dearest dumplings..wahliao this one like academy award speech like that)...its just that i miss having friends over,you know?(living with parents dont allow for that so much.)by the way, because of you wonderful people i now have 6 smses in my phone with the same malay word in it..RANTAU!*grin from ear to ear*

played pool on friday..it's been a long time..it was GOOOOOD...went to a party last night thrown by the ever-charming tyler ng..it was also GOOODD..:P..tonight will be supporting a dear friend's brother who's gonig to be the next hitz.tv vj!!!we're going to give moral support lah..so please vote for andy..just type UVJANDY and send to 32888 because he's a good kid and also we should start supporting our malaysian talents lah..bands..support...drama..support..singing..support..(even if you have to wear earplugs..because how else will we improve?how will other countries respect us if we dont get it together ourselves?)fuck racism, support humanitism.


ooh janet's on with "thats the way love goes". that tune is sex..

in my brain:
- wisdom evades even the smartest people

- my back hurts

- cigarettes are evil..yeah, i gotta work on that one..

- people who die can now be turned into diamonds..really, read it the other day.

- my mother, person who carried me for 9 agonizing months, Director of her own agency, first graduate in her family, best friend, strongest,most beautiful, best dressed woman i know...is taking 2 hours to write an email.so cute lah i tell you (this is what happens when people have secretaries and choose to be net-illiterate) ((she threatens me with disownment if i dare tell anyone...sorry mommy, i need material to entertain my very bored friends...at least i didnt post the picture up!love you love you:P))

- Fire-flies.Kuala Selangor. want.to.go.

pictures on ty's party will be posted soon. i think ive got a fever.brain feels scattered. see, this is what happens when one acts younger than they are..sighhhhhh..

look around,you're not the only one..

so many people look inward, they think to themselves, why me?why not me? whats wrong with me?me, me me..that they forget to look past themselves for abit and just watch other people for a change. they try desperately to find themselves, they look for validation but meanwhile…its all about them. in my constant search for self-actualisation (Maslow's thingy) i tend to think about how many people i know. Like really knnoooww. without judgement. because i think i've come to a point where i want to take people as they are. good, bad, ugly. whether its one conversation or a hundred, whether its someone you see everyday or someone you're never going to see again. realising how many things i have taken for granted shock me to the core, how many things i am only now learning to be aware of?you're reading this when you should be calling up an old friend or someone that you've really wanted to speak to but just lost the guts/didnt care enough....just do something that makes you feel like you again..raw..open..honest. dont think,just do.life is fleeting and you dont need a heart attack to realise that.open your mind. go. do not be afraid.do not let your ego control you. do not let society dictate what you should be. be you. because at the end of the day, you answer to you. so go, now. prevent divorce, prevent insecurity, prevent yourself from getting into that rut. get out of your comfort zone.doesnt even have to be something big. tell your parents you love them, have sex in the backseat of a car, go have dinner alone, move out, move in, take a drive, smoke some green, get a tattoo,listen to that one song and turn it up, sing, dance, laugh, cry,change your mind, stop bitching, get on the net, tell someone you love them; its not the end of the world, its the beginning..i heard somewhere that we have more planets in the universe than grains of sand on all the beaches in our world..and you're busy thinking about you?think deeper, think bigger..

cars..so very much like their owners..

juan's car farts..ok, im done. sorry juannie!im still laughing!!its the most hilarious thing since the backstreet boys comeback!aiyoh...the car farts..literally a human fart!(oh god,tummy cramp)its just so amazing and you so totally have to be there to enjoy it cos it was like i was being polite cos i thought she farted and she was kinda quiet too..so we were just talking, pretending we didnt hear anything (actually, i was pretending, she knows but it didnt strike her at the time that people might think it was her farting)hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha...aiyoh, elaboration just takes away from the funniness lah..(actually, her amplifier causes the farting noise lah, but i think its awesome cool lah for a car to fart)

i reckon im beginning to appreciate honesty more and more because it is so seldom that one sees it.


eh, how to say region in malay ah?..sorry, its just that i've been bloody cracking my head over it cos i had to translate something..and don't say daerah or kawasan sekeliling cos both aren't appropriate(region in this sentence encompasses Malaysia and neighbouring countries)..(yeah, i know you're like groaning to yourself thinking "i dont care stef,whats it to me?" and you would be right except that if you do it a) you will be doing a good deed and b) you'll be a great Malaysian cos you know the language so well!)

oh crap..it's Sunday..

"Sundays are poisoned by the mere fact that the next day is Monday"

so i was cleaning my room today..have i told you guys how good the ergo-rapido is yet?that vacum cleaner should get numerous awards for sucking man..really..(oh, and i mean sucks up dust not how we young people use it in lingo as in "that sucks")it is amazing!!and its red so its very feminine, you know?doesnt look like other vacum cleaners that are static and black in colour..:P..its like wahliao..an it's one of those handheld ones so you can totally clean your car with it too?not only that, but for an additional 200 bucks you can get the canggih big ass mother of a vacum to fit your little one in it! (yes, i am aware that im talking about a vacum cleaner..just let me be lah ok?)

im confused about the whole dating game..cos it IS a game, apparently..a huge one.. been talking to friends about it and its like...OH MY GAWD!!some of the stuff that came out i couldnt believe!i mean, i know about the basic stuff lah yah like a guy worth his salt should bloody well offer to pay on a first date lah..i mean come on lah right?then the girl, if she's worth her salt should also offer to pay, ya know?cos its the 21st century lah...but stuff like he's gotta have nice hair..what the hell is that??or she's gotta maintain her weight at exactly 110 pounds,no more no less..(true story, i kid you not)what the f##$? don't people care about personality anymore?(actually, i should be asking dont people HAVE personality anymore???)but i've also heard some cute ones lah like, if the guy likes you then he'll wanna sit directly opposite you cos he wants to have direct eyecontact..never knew that..(and i know im breaking the cardinal rule of dating by writing about all these secrets of dating but im curious lah..)and has dating changed??cos i mean, i havent been on the scene for awhile so im just wondering, has it?like, how does a girl know that she's liked by someone?or how does a guy,for that matter?is that why everyone plays the game?and when someone gets tired of playing the game and gives up first, thats it?man, it sounds exhausting...someone should totally make up rules man..like 1st date wont be called a date,its just a friend thing..you go out..talk abit..catch a movie and then go home..then the guy, if he's a gentleman should wait for approximately 1 and a half days to call..(to save his ego and for her to worry abit) then when he does and if he does wanna go out with her again,ask her.sincerely.no maybes, no see howlah.just ask.becos she might be impressed and say yes.because you are being sincere.because if she has half a brain she will know how hard it was for you to lay it on the line. and that is being a man. if you are being wishy washy then its gonna fuck with her mind and shes gonna be wishy washy too. ok, then the whole good night kiss thing (depends on the two individuals, how horny they are, their personalities,etc). Men, if youve got a pair, just kiss her.(Thats a sure fire way of knowing if she like you back). if you're not ready then nevermind, give her a hug which is also kind of a good way to judge if a girl likes you.if she hugs you like shes hugging a wet fish then sorrylah..but if she pulls you in for like, 2-3 seconds, then you're golden.(this does not apply to girls you've been frends with for a long time..that one different story..)

I guess at the end of the day, you've got to just keep your sense of humour about you lah, you know?cos thats whats so fucking amazing about life right?not taking everything so seriously?opening your mind to new crazy possibilities?if not then?become a one-track mind?make money and die?marry the first person you see and die?can you hear the sheep baaa-ing?

"You should make a point of trying everything in life once..except incest and folk-dancing"..Anonymous.